sexy is an attitude: May 2007

in all seriousness, i do believe that i am one of the most underestimated ppl in the world.

*disclaimer: this is not out to diss any particular person/group of ppl,so don't intellectualise too much. i just decided that i didnt want to bottle all this up anymore.

i would really appreciate it if people would stop calling me bimbo/ditz, or associate me with anything vaguely bimbotic/ditzy, even if it's done in a light-hearted manner (i.e. in jest) because it really isnt funny anymore; in fact, i resent it. and today was kinda like the-straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back.

yeah so i mightn't be the smartest person around but i know for a fact i'm not dumb. and ppl underestimate me,maybe they don't think i'm serious enough because i'm always [usually] happy and smiling and high.or maybe i talk with alot of hand gestures/head movements,whatever. it's part of my personality.
so i've been playing along with everyone...i didnt think it mattered that much but now i guess it just does..u know? it didn't affect me that much either,until today. i mean, even if it's done in jest, repeated instances can be hurtful. not just to me, but to just abt anyone else. i'm quite tired of all this, and tired of trying to change ppl's [warped] perception of me. i'm cool with who i am, i just dislike all the ribbing. which,by the way, happens on a daily basis.

yeah, think what u want of me, but just be discerning with your words,becos words are powerful and they carry more weight than you think. some thoughts are not meant to be articulated, some opinions are better kept to yourself, and some questions shouldn't even be asked.

~timeless memories~

lesley being horny. gasp!

what really goes on backstage b4 a show

me and candyman!

my mirror(: which was unable to serve its original purpose of reflecting my face,as it was covered with notes from lovely ppl. not that i'm complaining

dharsh insisted of a picture of the danceshirt.

shawn shows of his feminine side. AHAHA

friendship is truly timeless(:

one hell of an experience(:

this one week spent @ nafa's lee foundation theatre with the awesome ac dancers has got to be my best AC experience yet,in my short 5mths of being in this school. =)i LOVE the dancers so much man!!!we certainly delivered 3 kick-ass shows huh? the friendships forged,the camaraderie,the way all of us just gave to the dance,the way we cheered and screamed for each other,the way we all sat tgt to do our makeup,the way we all fooled around....everything's gonna be etched in my memory for a long,long time. it was certainly MAGICAL,that's for sure. when i was on that stage,with the bright lights,the audience's expectant faces and my fellow dancers around me,i just felt so genuinely happy to be alive. yeah,it's true that dance is an expression of the soul(: i love this cca precisely cos we all get to do what we love,and cos it's so caring. the buddy system,and the post-its we stuck on each other's mirrors to encourage one another...u cant find that kinda thing anywhere else.and i like the fact that this was a collective effort. sure,some ppl had 8 items,some had 4 or 5,but ultimately the show rocked cos we ALL gave 100%. (:
i'm really gonna miss the J2s so much u know :( sigh. having severe restless withdrawal symptoms now. it's like the end of a dream,and now we're all tossed back to reality.get on with life,mug for terms,etc.haha..the only cd that's been playing and re-playing on my radio the whole week is the restless cd.all the songs churn up so many memories...i know i'll never get sick of them
raj said that God must really love ac dance(: and i think it's really true cos we've been so blessed! the weeks leading up to restless were intensive,but no one fell seriously sick or injured themselves,so much so that they couldnt dance.i guess my faith was strenghthened this restless week too,and foet hat i'm thankful
thanks everyone who went down to support us!!! and thank u dancers for sharing the experience with me,i love u <3
Live your dance,dance your life

-

hello who wants to go to vaunt2 with me??
cheryl doesnt want to go
shawn cant
zara has a class sleepover
HELLO HELLO HELLO PLEASE TELL ME IF U'RE FREE ON THE 29TH AT NIGHT OK. I DON'T WANT TO GO IF THERE'S NO ONE TO GO WITH =(

feeling itchy to type hence the relatively long entry

i feel so VICTORIOUS that i made it thru this insanely crazy week(:
let's see.
mon i was late for sch and had dc again. it really wasnt my fault (again) but nth i cld do abt it. >.<
tue i slept at 2am because i went out for dinner with chanel and joyce, then i sewed my restless jeans late into the night with only the radio for company............................
wed i slept at 3:30am doing my lastminute gp assignment,with only the radio and a can of coffee for company. i hate gp btw!
thu i was so sleepy in sch...and then there was dance
i was shagged that when i reached home on thu at 9plus,i ate dinner then i plonked onto the bed..supposedly for half an hr,but ended up sleepin till morning. slept thru the nite without bathing/brushing teeth/doing hw.. UNINTENTIONALLY,of course.anw i woke up in my dirty dance tee shirt,felt quite disgusting. of course i bathed b4 sch,friends.i'm not that gross.
but anw i still made it thru the day,and fri too..albeit with a slight headache, probably due to all the sleep deprivation. i slept till 10:30 on sat morning,woke up feeling loads better(:

theasthai...gah. i thot i didnt do very well. our duologue was classified under 'the funnies' (i.e. comedy) but hello?i didnt think it was funny at all la.and ppl didnt really laugh. it was demoralizing,depressing,disappointing. ok,i exaggerate,but didnt help that i was feeling emo that day.everyone else's piece was so good tho,really so proud of all my depper friends(: .after theasthai some ppl went out for supper i think,but i wasn't in a celebratory/big-crowd kinda mood so went to macs @ tiong with ed,then went home to shower and plonk onto bed.
this week is restless week (: even tho we'll be missing the last crucial week of sch, the prospect of spendin one week with the dancers <3 and just dancing our hearts out,more than makes up for it.

on another note,someone told me i changed alot after i came to jc. i guess it's inevitable to change,because change is constant.but i didnt like what she told me.or mayb it was the way in which she told me. i don't even know myself if what she said is true.well, i guess some parts are,but definitely not others. i pride myself on the fact that i'm a very reflective/introspective person (more so than i appear to be). but u know what,i don't have anything to prove to anyone so it shouldn't really matter....i dunno why i was so bothered :( i know i've changed in some ways,but i'm still the same person in many other aspects
no one can really understand fully what i experience;similarly,i can't fully understand what other ppl experience. and i wish ppl wouldnt judge me based on first impressions,becos i've learnt that first impressions are often highly inaccurate (in most cases). i know i am not really a ditz. i know i have substance

another thing i dislike: when ppl assume that i'm neglecting my priorities just becos i appear to be preoccupied with other things in my life. i know how much i can take (even tho it may seem otherwise),and if i want to do smth,i'll do it. sure i may be fickle and everything,but in the end i do it. when ppl pity me for being 'perpetually tired'/perpetually busy,it makes me push on all the more,just to prove that i can

there seem to be alot of things that other ppl don't know/don't understand abt me.and i'm not even that complex a person :/

i don't know why, but i'm finding it harder and harder to really maintain friendships. joyce said that extroverts tend to have alot of friends,but few deep friendships.it's the whole qnty over quality, breadth over depth concept. which kindof sucks,becos what's the pt of having alot of friends but only a few really close ones?sometimes i wish i was more introverted,i really do =(

party central!

i love parties, especially those with themes. (: debbie's one was retro, and jai's was punk rock. both damn fun, good respite from the hum-drum of life. i went for jai's party even tho it meant not finishing muggin for econs test the next day,but no regrets man,had a blast with all the cool people. hehehe.