i feel a sudden compulsion to start studying for terms.
post IS exam; CHIONG all the way man.

life as a depper

valentine's day this year was different...it was the first time that i went to sch with no gifts for anyone, cos i was too busy with my IS. i felt so bad that all my friends were so sweet and generous, and i was empty-handed!! ..but i must say that i felt very loved, thanku so very much to everyone who made it so special =)

aha. this some of us after dep exams...CAN YOU SEE THE ABSOLUTE BLISS ON OUR FACES?? after being deprived so long of fried/ unhealthy food, we stuffed our faces with breko's goodies as fast as we could, after jas's IS (which was the very last one)

june's IS. haha michael said it looks like an ad for united colours of bennington. :) i was a burmese water dancer fighting for democracy, how cool is that? and she had REAL SOIL in the pink studio mind you... on a large canvas sheet.

EDLYNNN. for jas's piece, we were self-exhumated jews who died in the holocaust. btw i think goth makeup is not my style at all

MY OWN PIECE!!!!!!!!!!!! (where was God in the tsunami?) with my beloved dancers, who were an integral part in helping me achieve the grade that i got..of which i feel so incredibly blessed to have gotten because it was totally unexpected :) :)
they hijacked my camera and starting big time cam-whoring.

peter has a fetish for dresses. (he is secretly a girl)

OMG I'M SO HAPPY AND OVERJOYED THAT MY DEP PRELIM EXAM IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think it was quite alright; i'm just thankful it's over. this week has been madness. i've never been so tired before i think.. but it was so comforting to know that all the other j2 deppers were all feeling the same way, and we were all encouraging one another and it kinda helped us bond too =) at least, i felt that it did.
friday was the worst, cos i was just so physically and mentally tired the whole day and dragging my carcass around the school like some zombie. but i went home and slept for an hr, felt better after that. i tried a mood simulation exercise by myself in the darkness of my bedroom, and i CRIED ok. which is good, cos it gave me the raw emotion that i needed to channel into the piece. when i tried it on my IS partners, hb cried too and i felt so touched. :)
oh yes, and on sat the newspaper saturday feature was abt the arts scene in singapore... how apt right?? and i had an epiphany of sorts... i was just reading, and then it hit me: why are we doing all this for dep, we do we slog and struggle so much? i guess it goes beyond merely getting a good grade for the exam...we do it becos we love our craft, and becos we have a msg to share with the ppl watching. i remember how much i loved my piece initially, and i was so excited abt it. i wrote my own script, choreographed the dance, did the ppt, installation etc.... but along the way this love slowly diminished at the onslaught of technicalities and ever increasing lists of things-to-do. and i hated it. but ytd i got the fire back :) so thank God man.
now that IS is over i shall seriously push all my other subjects, which have been sadly neglected for the past few weeks, omg.
the teachers werent kidding when they said j2 would be the fastest paced year in one's life. it's like a bullet train that's not stopping and i feel like i'm running behind and waving my arms frantically. but! i endeavour to get on the stupid train before term exams. hell yeah.

taking stock of life as it is

yesterday, i posted a slew of pictures onto my blog...after a mighty long hiatus. i love how pictures say what words cannot. through images, we can relive all the good times with friends/ family, and all thos fond memories. ah :) anyway, i felt compelled to blog a proper entry. it's one of those spur of the moment compulsions to ramble, or rather, to think about things and then typing them down concurrently.

i should first take stock of my life. am currently in a prolonged state of busyness because my dep prelims are on the 16th of Feb, which is essentially in a week's time. might i add, God has been an AMAZING source of strength during this season of my life, which has been seriously hectic man. but i take comfort in the fact that it will be over..soon. in due time laa.

anyhow, just now i decided to inspire myself by doing up a list of things that i will endeavour to do this year. it will supersede my new year resolutions because it is the updated version :) oh wait, this can be my [CHINESE]new year resolutions,hahaha. so anyway, i reckon i covered every sphere of my life, and rightly so, because i've decided that i want my life to be balanced and holistic. i'm proud of this new list because it sums up all that i aspire to be, and it has realigned my priorities with God's. you know what, if people actually knew half the things i think about, they wouldnt call me a bimbo. HA. because i really do think about hell lotta things. like the meaning of life, the cultivation of specific values and traits, and yes i do reflect alot and i even chart my own growth and maturity because i journal so much. i think, the best way that i can communicate my inner landscape is through the written word, because my personality dictates that my outward behaviour makes me come across to other people as one of those easily excited, easily-mistaken-to-be-an-airhead type of girl...those that outwardly seem incapable of profound thought. OR AM I WRONG? =) but anyhow, notice my use of the word 'outwardly'. externally, superficially... same difference. haha =) actually a lot of people are likethat; as in, they are so much more than they appear to be. i've discovered that thru my interaction with different people everyday!

i hereby (self)proclaim that i can effectively contradict the old adage, empty vessels make the most noise. because even though i talk alot, i'd like to believe that i am not an empty headed person. =)

cheers XOXO

a pictorial montage