murphy's law in full force

where do i even begin? today was one of the lousiest days i've had in a long time. had a headache that plagued me all thru the day at varying degrees of pain. lost one of my new earrings that i bought 2 days ago. my wallet button broke. got screwed big time during tapestry,sigh. i hate being such a slow learner. i take a long time to nail steps down, becos i'm not the type of ppl who can pick it up quickly. after i nail the steps,though, i know i can deliver a great performance. it's just the initial moments of learning a dance that i hate, because ppl tend to judge dancers on how quickly they learn steps, which isn't really fair because that doesn't define a true dancer at all. but i have faith in myself that i can and will deliver eventually. that's ultimately what's the most important thing isn't it? i learn by muscle memory, which means that i have to constantly do the action,if not i'll forget it. sigh

also, it hit me today that pretty soon, i will have no semblance of a life.at least till the end of the month. >.<

people like me cannot function this way!

just now i was wallowing in abject self pity, and disgusting myself in the process. we all have BADdays like this...today just opened my eyes to certain aspects of my existence that i am far from happy with. actually i wanted to start this entry with i hate my life, but then i decided against it, because even though i've uttered those 4 words countless times today (out of sheer frustration), i guess i don't really mean it, deep down. at least i hope not :(
i don't want to have regrets in life, but today as i watched the 32nd students' council getting installed, i was just sitting there and wishing that i had run for council, becos being in a coucil like that is so...worthwhile. in sc, i had so many opportunities for leadership, and i took those for granted. i hate feeling regretful, but it's too late now. :(

you know,happiness is really soelusive. i remember, i was so happy when i found out that i got into dep. so happy, when i found out i got into westside. so happy when i got into acjc. yeah,but all that, and other instances of 'happiness',were all short-lived. nth gives true happiness except God.. havent we heard that numerous times alr? but there is truth in that you know. i know He's testing me; He always has been, but it's a painful process that we all have to go thru in order to grow.

k i'm glad i've more or less sorted out my thoughts. at least there's no more inner turmoil and sadness anymore. negativity is self-destructive, but then again it's human nature.i hope to snap out of this pathetic state soon.

tml will be a better day!