sexy is an attitude

2008-02-21T22:53:00.001+08:00

i feel a sudden compulsion to start studying for terms.
post IS exam; CHIONG all the way man.

life as a depper

2008-02-20T22:28:00.010+08:00

valentine's day this year was different...it was the first time that i went to sch with no gifts for anyone, cos i was too busy with my IS. i felt so bad that all my friends were so sweet and generous, and i was empty-handed!! ..but i must say that i felt very loved, thanku so very much to everyone who made it so special =)

aha. this some of us after dep exams...CAN YOU SEE THE ABSOLUTE BLISS ON OUR FACES?? after being deprived so long of fried/ unhealthy food, we stuffed our faces with breko's goodies as fast as we could, after jas's IS (which was the very last one)

june's IS. haha michael said it looks like an ad for united colours of bennington. :) i was a burmese water dancer fighting for democracy, how cool is that? and she had REAL SOIL in the pink studio mind you... on a large canvas sheet.

EDLYNNN. for jas's piece, we were self-exhumated jews who died in the holocaust. btw i think goth makeup is not my style at all

MY OWN PIECE!!!!!!!!!!!! (where was God in the tsunami?) with my beloved dancers, who were an integral part in helping me achieve the grade that i got..of which i feel so incredibly blessed to have gotten because it was totally unexpected :) :)
they hijacked my camera and starting big time cam-whoring.

peter has a fetish for dresses. (he is secretly a girl)

2008-02-17T12:04:00.003+08:00

OMG I'M SO HAPPY AND OVERJOYED THAT MY DEP PRELIM EXAM IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think it was quite alright; i'm just thankful it's over. this week has been madness. i've never been so tired before i think.. but it was so comforting to know that all the other j2 deppers were all feeling the same way, and we were all encouraging one another and it kinda helped us bond too =) at least, i felt that it did.
friday was the worst, cos i was just so physically and mentally tired the whole day and dragging my carcass around the school like some zombie. but i went home and slept for an hr, felt better after that. i tried a mood simulation exercise by myself in the darkness of my bedroom, and i CRIED ok. which is good, cos it gave me the raw emotion that i needed to channel into the piece. when i tried it on my IS partners, hb cried too and i felt so touched. :)
oh yes, and on sat the newspaper saturday feature was abt the arts scene in singapore... how apt right?? and i had an epiphany of sorts... i was just reading, and then it hit me: why are we doing all this for dep, we do we slog and struggle so much? i guess it goes beyond merely getting a good grade for the exam...we do it becos we love our craft, and becos we have a msg to share with the ppl watching. i remember how much i loved my piece initially, and i was so excited abt it. i wrote my own script, choreographed the dance, did the ppt, installation etc.... but along the way this love slowly diminished at the onslaught of technicalities and ever increasing lists of things-to-do. and i hated it. but ytd i got the fire back :) so thank God man.
now that IS is over i shall seriously push all my other subjects, which have been sadly neglected for the past few weeks, omg.
the teachers werent kidding when they said j2 would be the fastest paced year in one's life. it's like a bullet train that's not stopping and i feel like i'm running behind and waving my arms frantically. but! i endeavour to get on the stupid train before term exams. hell yeah.

taking stock of life as it is

2008-02-09T00:35:00.000+08:00

yesterday, i posted a slew of pictures onto my blog...after a mighty long hiatus. i love how pictures say what words cannot. through images, we can relive all the good times with friends/ family, and all thos fond memories. ah :) anyway, i felt compelled to blog a proper entry. it's one of those spur of the moment compulsions to ramble, or rather, to think about things and then typing them down concurrently.

i should first take stock of my life. am currently in a prolonged state of busyness because my dep prelims are on the 16th of Feb, which is essentially in a week's time. might i add, God has been an AMAZING source of strength during this season of my life, which has been seriously hectic man. but i take comfort in the fact that it will be over..soon. in due time laa.

anyhow, just now i decided to inspire myself by doing up a list of things that i will endeavour to do this year. it will supersede my new year resolutions because it is the updated version :) oh wait, this can be my [CHINESE]new year resolutions,hahaha. so anyway, i reckon i covered every sphere of my life, and rightly so, because i've decided that i want my life to be balanced and holistic. i'm proud of this new list because it sums up all that i aspire to be, and it has realigned my priorities with God's. you know what, if people actually knew half the things i think about, they wouldnt call me a bimbo. HA. because i really do think about hell lotta things. like the meaning of life, the cultivation of specific values and traits, and yes i do reflect alot and i even chart my own growth and maturity because i journal so much. i think, the best way that i can communicate my inner landscape is through the written word, because my personality dictates that my outward behaviour makes me come across to other people as one of those easily excited, easily-mistaken-to-be-an-airhead type of girl...those that outwardly seem incapable of profound thought. OR AM I WRONG? =) but anyhow, notice my use of the word 'outwardly'. externally, superficially... same difference. haha =) actually a lot of people are likethat; as in, they are so much more than they appear to be. i've discovered that thru my interaction with different people everyday!

i hereby (self)proclaim that i can effectively contradict the old adage, empty vessels make the most noise. because even though i talk alot, i'd like to believe that i am not an empty headed person. =)

cheers XOXO

a pictorial montage

2008-02-08T18:03:00.000+08:00

hum drum

2008-01-13T18:44:00.000+08:00

i'm proud to say that i survived one whole week of J2 life-- academic aspects and all other commitments. INCLUDING yesterday=) ac dance performed for some youth olympics seminar thingy, and we had to be in school by 6am with hair bunned and makeup done. i woke up at 4.30am! haha but it was worth it laa.
i must proclaim my severe orientation withdrawal symptoms to the world.:( i cant believe it was one week ago, seems like a million yrs have passed since campfire ended. i miss my og kids, and rolling around in mud, and being retarded with the other kyojin girls (our bimbo cheer wins hands down man), and cheering my lungs out (surprisingly, i didnt lose my voice even tho i cheered like mad everyday. miss wong said it's due to the voice training i get in DEP, hahahaha). and seeing the other ogls everyday. i'm trying to get back on track in terms of academic work, but it pales in comparison to ogling in terms of enjoyment. duh. anyway here are some random pictures of orientation that i got off other ppl's blogs:)

this is the side profile and back profile of 2 of my og kids VINCE and JOHNPAUL. =)

at this present juncture i am in the midst of writing my essay for commonwealth essay comp. yes, i think i'm crazy too... there's this whole unfinished pile of hw waiting to be completed and here i am writing a 1500 word essay which is fully optional. haha. just wanted to give it a try, but i dun think it'll amount to much. just for kicks. =)

my life is more or less normal, there is nth very interesting happening now. oh, DEP prelims are in abt a month's time omggg. :( i hope that i can pull off a kick-ass, tear-jerking perfomance tgt with my helpers (CHERYL YING HANNBIN and PETER!). fingers crossed

phew! :)

2007-12-29T23:50:00.000+08:00

lately i've been so busy that i can hardly keep track of the days anymore. christmas seems like so long ago! but i guess it's a good kind of busy (?)...there's OGL stuff, and spending time with ppl, and dance comm stuff, and of course christmas! the only damper in the whole equation is (what else) the perpetual cloud hanging over my head which screams 'homework'. which, might i add, i am no where near done. but whatever, i'll manage best as i can, given the circumstances. i kinda promised miss wong that i wld stay on top of things if i signed up for ogling. hrmmmmmmm.
but i must say, signing up to be an OGL is probably one of the BEST things i've done in ac. =) seriously. we broke camp today--or rather, tonight-- and i feel so strangely fulfilled and plain happy. like there's this supreme cause that i'm part of, and this huge big family that i now belong to. i love all the new ppl i got to know, everone's so nice(: and so is kyojin man. tomorrow i'm gonna call my og kids, it's kinda exciting. and jas's party is tml too!

i think it will only be the day b4 sch reopens that i can actually do my hw again. >.<

*oh yes, i must add that i havent been logging into facebook for AGES becos of the hive of activity that has consumed my being. and yes i know i've been superpoked one million times but sorry dearest friends, facebook is currently pushed to last priority at the mo, cos there are alot of other things demanding my attn and i cannot afford to spend hrs on end superpoking ppl and dishing out nicknames (altho that would be nice)
XOXOXO

euphoric

2007-12-15T00:59:00.001+08:00

i'm extremely happy and proud of myself cos my room is finally neat and uncluttered! for the past year or so, i'd been living in a PIG STY of a room, and i aint exaggerating one bit. it was dusty and cluttered with useless inordinate things. but NOW.. it is very liveable and airy and spacious =)
i threw out so much paper, esp sec school notes (don't ask me why i still kept them.. i dunno either) it felt good to discard all that, like something in me was slowly let free. (:
i've been a messy person for as long as i can remember (in terms of my room), but now i shall really ATTEPMT to keep it uncluttered.

ah.it's 1am and i have not showered (becos i only just finished the packing. from after-dinner to now... quite a long time huh) hahaa but it feels great anyway
XOXO

this is a heavily punctuated random post

2007-12-10T20:24:00.000+08:00

i think, i am a rather arty farty person.
in fact. i love going to museums and i can spend 3278342 hrs there. i've also discovered a new favourite hangout, the NATIONAL LIBRARY. i love it, it's a great place to research/chill/see exhibits/spend a lazy afternoon. :) if not for my IS, i doubt i would have gone there at all, but it's really some treasure trove of knowledge la. i went by myself last friday for IS research about the 2004 tsunami (cos that's what my DEP Indiv Skill--or IS--is gonna be abt anyway. some emo, questioning thing with dance and text). yeah so i lugged my dad's ancient heavy laptop and spent my afternoon there. it was RESTFUL (: i found some pics abt the tsunami and mygosh they were so sad i nearly cried there and then. but yeaah. go there if u have the chance, i highly encourage that.
that night i went to the arts house with my mum to watch y grec, which was interesting but a tad highbrow. i liked the installtion tho, it was cool. pure white. the architecture was modelled after actual greek buildings cos the director took a trip there last yr as part of research for the piece! haha i wish i cld have gone for more singapore writer's fest stuff. i bookmarked alot of things but had no time to go. like the arthur yap exhibition.

mm. went for drama party @ glory's last nite. so fun! the best was THRASHING kester @ the xbox guitar hero thing..felt damn good. :D haha oh and during gift exchange we all thot that the present contributed by tushar was some disgusting sex toy or something, cos he and henryk were making such a big deal of it! but it turned out to be a KID'S GOLF SET. with plenty of BALLS,geddit? aiyo. i'll miss my dep seniors like mad next yr la. :(

WE will be the seniors. omg

adam vs eve youthphoria event || pcg dinner || kim's 18th @ hyatt

2007-12-04T22:42:00.000+08:00

suday night: kim's birthday party @ grand hyatt, in a swanky grand duplex suite. i had fun..taking pics, eating, dancin.reallylove seeing everyone looking posh and prettied-up.(: loads of drama ppl were there, mostly the AN dancers. plus su, kerri, sara, mich, kim's bf and some ex-barker boys. of course, i put on loads of glitter (i think, it's become my signature of sorts) :D and there was dancing, but it was abit weird cos all the guys didnt really dance, so -.-"

classic moment

kim! the gorgeous gorgeous bday girl, cutting her cake..which was damn cool. a chocolate sponge CHANEL BAG:p the other delicacies were very pretty and good to eat, like the marshmallows which came in all sorts of pastel colours, with the chocolate fondue that michelle melted. mmm (:

me and chu. and below is me and jas! she looks like a myscene chelsea doll DON'T YOU AGREE

pcg dinner on sat nite @ manhattan fish market

adam vs eve @ sentosa: we were obviously trying to jump, but my sister's cam aint very good

girls on the way to sentosa for our girls' outing! i think my yellow nails were quite AA

on the sky lift. poor ruth was so scared :(

i really enjoyed the adam vs eve outing!!kudos to those ppl who organised it. after we rode the luge, the girls met up with the guys at the beach, and we sang songs and prayed for one another. it was nice, just sitting there and enjoying nature as God intended. (: the contrast was v cool, cos we were singing our christian sings against the secular beats if cafe del mar. as i sang, the secular songs kinda faded away in the recesses of my mind... it was really cool.

anyway, i went out with my grandma ytd. had a good time catching up with her and shopping. (:then i went to extract my wisdom tooth! was kinda scared at first, esp for the post surgery period. but it really was not bad, AT ALL. sure, there was blood, but painless nonetheless. anaesthesia is great, totally numbed everything. and the dentist said my mouth wld swell today, but IT HASNT. :) praise God. tomorrow there's drama cos apparently we're performing for some red cross charity event on sat.

XOXO

of arabian nights, sleepovers, chillin and the beach (again)

2007-11-30T21:38:00.000+08:00

yesterday was SHERN'S birthday so we went to her house to surprise her :) and good, she was surprised this yr. i remember last year she saw ppl's shoes outside the house (a tiny little detail that we overlooked.. but! it was RECTIFIED this year so the mistake was avoided) anyway then bel chanel su and i slept over, it was super fun. i love love my girls so much. once again, happy 17th shern and bel. u two mean so much to me :)

the other day i went out with the sc girls and we slept over at su's house. i was sunburnt from sentosa and shagged too, but spending time with them is quite uh, energizing. :) cafe iguana is a good place to chill.. we saw UTT! oh and the next day we baked... i havent baked in198104756 years. and the cake was pretty darn good too.

sentosa with drama ppl. they insisted on burying glory in the sand

kester and mark are SO whacked in the head. check out this disgusting picture.
drama ppl are good with their hands huh!

this was after one of the AN rehearsals: we went to menotti's again for uh, dessert. :D below is TBG before pillowman, which, in my opinion, is The best production i've watched this yr (and i've watched man, many performances mind you)

backstage @ barker, arabian nights 2007

pics from ppp. the most adorable baby in the history of the world.

henna, which was pretty, but i doubt anyone actually noticed it during the show.
this week has been incredibly fun :D

i thot i'd get real bad withdrawal symptoms after AN, like with westside, but it hasnt been that bad. AN was a great, highly memorable experience though.

i have little else to say, except that i love the hols cos we get to have a life:) save for the annoying mountain of hw, but whatever. btw we found out our fellow OGLs the other day.. mine's xavier and wan theng, and we're in the clan JAPAN. we will be the most awesome OG ever man!i intend to be highly enthusiastic during orientation next yr, just watch me.

that's all for now

XOXO

a new purpose

2007-11-19T12:29:00.000+08:00

parachute band @ acjc on saturday night was really good (: the testimony of the worship leader in particular really spoke to me, and i as i stood there during the altar call, God reminded me of the many times that His presence had manifested itself in my life, or the times when He pulled me up from whatever abyss that i had sunk into. and i just felt so grateful, and so compelled to become a better christian and witness for Him. ah. to be godlier and stuff likethat.. and so the following day,i told kester to keep me accountable. it feels like my priorities have been somewhat realigned. stuff that seemed alluring in the past have lost their appeal, and in their place is a desire to see my life as a better reflection of what's important.

ahwell. tomorrow we hit theatre, till saturday. after sat, arabian nights will be over. we've worked so hard for this, and this week, the fruit of our labour will be seen. though i'm only dancing, i still feel a deep sense of ownership to the performance.. and funnily enough, the main reason for that is not because of my love for performance or whatever, but rather because so many of me good friends are in comm or are the principles in this production. and because it means so much to them, it is reason enough for me to feel that way too. mrs c said that everyone is impt, and that the non-text dancers must ballast those with heavy chunks of text or who are the principles. i'm pretty good at that, i reckon. i mean, i like being in the centre sometimes(who doesnt), but it also makes me feel happy when i can give to my friends in the centre, like edlyn (the MAIN LEAD!!!!!). =D

well all's said and done...it's been one heck of a ride :)
XOXO

future prospects

2007-11-14T12:02:00.000+08:00

yesterday, i had an interesting convo with my parents about my future career and profession, which stemmed from me wondering about which uni to aim for. well, the uni that i eventually will enrol into obviously depends on duh, what i want to do with my life.. but i'm pretty set on going overseas, if possible. (a scholarship wld be good!) i know that i definitely will not go to NUS. if i do choose to remain in sgp, it will be in NTU...mass comm or smth. but i'd rather go to either australia or the US. i was talking to joa the other day abt the University of Sydney, cos its brochure piqued my interest. i was drawn in by its emphasis on the arts and all, so i told my mum, and apparently it is one of the unis that she had in mind for me! because australia is near home, and also cos she has a friend living in sydney who can take care of me. she also said that she knows me well enough, and she feels that sydney is great for me cos the shopping is good (she actually said that!!), and cos it is an arts hub. i love watching performances, and in sydney there is the opera house, so its quite ideal. hehe. but i dunno yet la.. and IF i choose to go to the US, there is the whole SATs thing to consider. egad. alot to think abt. >.<>no, they arent merely vacuous bimbos etc. but the old cliche of mum knows best is true i tell u. i have long given up that SIA ambition. it is not for me!

so as of now, i've thought of some careers that i think i will enjoy and have a passion for. Undoubtedly, my profession will have to be interesting and preferably not office-bound. i dont think i would be able to stand being in an office everyday. and, i would want to of course, capitalise on my strengths and inclinations, i.e. writing and people. so maybe a broadcast journalist/tv anchor/documentary presenter like diana ser and lisa ang. something to do with media, but which is not frivolous. or maybe a travel host! haha like samantha brown. maybe a theatre/movie critic so that i can put whatever i learn in DEP to practical use haha. ultimately i want something that i can continually engage my mind in, and whereby i am given opportunities to learn new things everyday. (:

so exciting right. it gives me more incentive to study hard. my daddy told me that some of my best traits are that i push hard for what i want, and that i am determined, and that i have a good personality. and you know what, i've concluded that truly, the ppl who know u best (apart from close friends) are your parents. cos they've seen u grow up and stuff. (: wahaha.

XOXO

dancers rock siloso beach + CPA perf!

2007-11-11T20:52:00.000+08:00

by the time cheryl jo claire godwin and i got to siloso after buying things for cpa, it was 3plus alr and there was hardly any sun left to tan with. but as u can see, that didnt quite deter us(initially) from laying out the sarongs and mats. after a while though, i got bored with the lack of sunshine and started taking pictures/walking around/eating/dancing with the others. =) to sidetrack a little, isn't jo SO HOT in her RED BIKINI! :)

me with my favourite cheryl yeo!

hann bin taking pictures of all of us

adeleeee

trigger happy girl(: and below is YING, in her funky yellow sunnies

we danced on the beach, and unintentionally(!) attracted a sizeable audience.

rich and adele in the water. and peter's solitary bobbing head
cheryl's hot little boy. below is a fine example of POLLUTION--i decided to snap a pic of it,because the sight disgusted me

rich's sunnies. i look like a BEE. (speaking of which, watch bee movie ok.. it is so CUTE.)

me with shawn, in our 'couple shot' (so says cheryl--i cannot help but disagree darling)

well the beach outing was highly enjoyable, i love my dancers veryvery much!=) me cheryl and adele caught the game plan at vivo after dinner too..freezing in the theatre in our shorts, but movie was good. i think i'm quite lucky with my selection of movies, usu those that i watch turn out to be really nice.

yes.. and then on fri was CPA gala dinner @ ritz!

me and gabby on our bus ride to ritz carlton.the poor boy was sick though:(

i was so happy that dance and drama shared the same room! we took so many photos..AFTER the show of course. the costume change in between from dance to drama was quite exhilarating, i must say(: but i was so sad to peel off my falsies cos they were quite cool (albeit uncomfortable.) anyway, it is highly amusing, watching the dance and drama guys interacting.. there was one moment where they were PILING on top of one another (with poor shawn as the base). dun ask me why..to exhibit their manliness or smth, beats me. well boys will be boys. =P

AC dance picture!

nick and d acting all gay. what's new (:

me and dharsh doing our couple move
in the tapestry costume

classic picture of retha and adeleee =)

the week that has gone by was fun,and quite fulfilling. overdose of dancers but i'm not complaining(: on thu we spent deepavli SEWING stuff for cpa, but it was fun cos everyone was talking and eating and watching music vids tgt,haha.

this week will be ARABIAN NIGHTS chiong, cos it's the LAST week b4 we hit theatre! dance intensive...i reckon i will be more or less M.I.A for the whole week.mmm

XOXO

as i sit back and ruminate

2007-11-08T22:06:00.000+08:00

the other day i was just looking back on the year and evaluating all the choices that i've made so far--and of course journalling down my thots--at 1.05am in the morning.

i can say in all confidence that i've really seen God working in my life this yr. sustaining me thru all the rehearsals and the stressful periods, and helping me attain the grades that i got for promos. i am nothing without him,seriously. and all the choices i've made, thankfully i have no regrets. of course, our minds will constantly be clouded by 'what ifs', but hey, there aint room for regrets baby! not now at least, in this in this face paced age. but regardless, i've learnt alot within this year, and i've met so many new and different ppl, some of whom have become special friends(:

and yeah, i remembered His promise in Jer 29:11 (shern's birthday verse!haha), and it is v evident to me now. i remembered how crushed i was when i didnt make it to drama comm, and i began questioning my abilities and ppl's perception of me, etc.but on retrospect, i didnt have to be upset at all cos of God's better plan--woots! dance comm is where i feel totally comfortable, and where i feel like i can really thrive, really serve my best with my particular personality and work ethnic. and the people are wonderful! haha. and God knew it all along, but at that time i was too myopic to see the big picture.
and as for the way ppl perceive me, i've gotten all enlightened abt that too.. now i seriously don't give a hoot. my worth is not determined by other ppl, because i am already precious in His sight. that's all that matters isnt it?

i also thought about other things too, but it's too long to add here.my entry was like, 7pages long :/ anw so i went to sleep feeling quite blessed, quite happy with life in general. ppl have a propensity to ask me why i'm always so happy and i like to say that i guess i was born that way. from now on my ans has been slightly tweaked:ok, i think that i'm more or less perpetually happy cos well, i have Jesus in me. i know that ppl who are like constantly happy and upbeat can be annoying, but heck la, cant be suppress it so express it. quite lame but i guess it sums up what i want to say. :) and of course life hasn't always been a bed of roses for me.. puh-lease. i've had my share of stormy emo days, but i think that a 'gift' that i've discovered abt myself is that i can snap back quickly enough. glory pointed it out to me b4 but at that time i couldnt see it.

many of my friends always tell me how life sucks and all... i'll just add my two cent's worth here: life is what u make of it man. when things happen there aint no pt in crying over spilt milk, just gotta press on. oscar wilde once said that life is too important to be taken seriously. so we gotta see the funny side of things, or at least the positive side/silver lining. i am currently trying to adopt that mindset for myself and it does help. nowadays i find myself feeling lighter, and less affected by externalities. also, cultivate an inner strength cos i find that it will indeed see u very far, esp when life gets stormy. better still, put ur trust in someone who cares abt even the tiniest hair on ur head. (duh, the One who created you.) hmmrm. u don't have to agree with what i'm saying, or u cld say 'what does she know, she'll never understand,' or i cld come across as disillusioned with life itself, perhaps even a tad preachy/sanctimonious. but i hope my input helps, at least a little (:

ah. now i feel like i have properly discharged something that has been pressing on my heart, so gdnight (:
CPA gala dinner @ ritz tml!!

holidays are meant for spending with LOVED ONES.

2007-11-04T23:54:00.000+08:00

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival." - C. S. Lewis

wed night: some of us went to hollandv for dinner after arabian nites dance, and it was really fun i must say:D
hilarious la, me ye and jas all want to marry dherajjjj :D mega polygamy yo. and once again we lapsed into planning for jas's 18th birthday party--which will be DAMN FUN,i might add--since ye is the event manager and well, i am in the planning comm. HAHAHA. :D i want to be the bouncer, so there. (you are not to laugh)
anywayss. i was quite tickled by all the ppl dressed up for halloween,like this headless ghoulish wannabe we saw outside subway. :D i havent celebrated halloween since what, pri 6?

you know what, i fully intend to go trick-or-treating with my kids in the future. i will dress up my kids as fairies with flouncy dresses and wings and alot of glitter. then i will fulfil my childhood fantasy and be the fairy queen HAHAHA! husband can be the tree or smth

thu: met up with my sc babes. it felt good meeting up with them, and just chillin/talking/catching up. like old times(: i love my ac friends to bits, but there is smth irreplaceable and distinctively special abt secondary school friends,would you not agree?lishan, zara, drea and suyin(: i had a great time with u guys at nyny and starbucks!! i took them to menotti in a vain attempt to show them my sexy french waiter RAOUL, but to no avail..ahwell.(i think he works the night shift?) anw i felt quite paiseh to peep in explicitly,so i pretended to look at the menu whilst peeping in. quite pro eh!! God gave girls peripheral vision for a reason.

then i went to cas's house at nite to get ready for grindhouse @ butter factory. we were so scared the turnout wld be sucky but in the end it was alright cos the company was excellent! gabby kai and ning joined us afterwards and i had fun dancing with everyone. was momo's first time clubbing but she's a natural, and gabby too! haha. the decor at butter fac. is quite cool..there's a picture of the lounge area on top. uh. we left at 3am i think, then went to cas's house to sleepover. i slept at 5am..with WET HAIR to boot. a miracle i didnt crash the next day :D but i ove spending time with my chicks.. I LOVE U CAS AND HEATHERMOMOMO!

fri: we woke up at what, 11am? and i had lunch with my family at vivo's food republic, cuz my dad had some voucher thingys. the thunder tea rice is quite nice. i ate it cos it's apparently v nutritional and whatnot, but negated all that with my subsequent bar of kitkat. oooh there's this new flavour of kitkat--COOKIE DOUGH-- and it is simply gorgeous. i aint no kitkat fan but this one was yummy. from candy empire, $3 i think.

and then today i met chris for breakfast. hope it helped dude(: i'll always be here for u. (and those are NOT empty words; i mean it!)

i know this sounds sappy and all, but sometimes all u need are good friends to share your joy, and your burdens, and basically your life. so yepp, i thank God for all my friends.... LOVE.

time for some fun

2007-10-30T20:01:00.000+08:00

after atma. we went to some chic place opposite chijmes for supper. they sell all desserts at half price after 10pm!!so i got a decadent supper for THREE BUCKS :D and,there is a hot french waiter there. i got malu-ed AGAIN thanks to chu.but it was quite funny really

also went out with clique to banana leaf apollo @ little india on fri for lunch. i love indianfood!

overdrive with ZARA(my twin). was really fun even tho the crowd wasnt that good. justin timberlake's choreographer is so hot, esp when he dances (: i love u zara!

oosh @ dempsey to celebrate cas's birthday! we even counted down. i had so much fun(: never order chocolate martini tho. i got sick of the chocolate after only a few sips.....the lychee martini is way better. and cas's fave drink sex on the beach is really good too(:

ooh that's the hot singer!if i was a guy i wld totally fall for her. she sings v well, and i mean very well.

yucky

i love the hols(: it's the time we get to catch up with old friends, and go out, and party, and shop, and chill, and basically enjoy life. even with all the holiday homework (oxymoron!), i am still determined to enjoy myself.

oh! PLEASE GO FOR ARABIAN NIGHTS AND PLEASE PLEASE BUY TICKETS FROM ME =)

J2S... ALL THE BEST FOR A's, I WILL BE PRAYING!

in a state of :D :D

2007-10-30T19:11:00.000+08:00

i feel really euphoric at the moment. let me count the reasons:
-pw is over finallly:D it's like a huuge load which has been here since what, march? but op went pretty well. my group is awesome! we can bullshit so well :D how apt, since our groundbreaker was thomas CRAPPER
-ogl... i'm pretty psyched abt the whole thing. ytd was our first briefing, and the tr was saying how we must be good role models etc etc, and she read a whole long list of school rules,asking us if we adhered to them. was like a guilt trip for me la, but i'll buck up. i'll be a gd role model
-on fri we got back our results for the yr and i'm quite pleased. blessed beyond what i deserve
-because of my results, i got an ipod nano
-it's the holidays
-alot of fun things to do. like thu i'm meeting up with ZARA ANDREA SUYIN for lunch then butter factory with cas at nite+sleepoverrrr i cant wait :)
-next yr, though busy, will be fun. cos there are so many things to be psyched about: fun-o-rama, drama's south africa trip(!), orientation, etc.
-the other day i had an Enlightenment, it's v awesome. ask me to tell u abt it if u want to know =)

hehe. i've been taking alot of pictures with my new camera lately! sad to say that i might actually be a camwhore. but it's fun la.

oh, and i've decided not to do H3 lit anymore. i know i took the form and all, and i also talked to alot of ppl abt it. but decided not to, for a variety of reasons. instead, i will be applying for peer mentoring. i like mentoring, esp the satisfaction derived when ur mentee does well! like my lit mentee last yr got 'A' for lit at o's,so i was overjoyed. so, i will volunteer my services for lit and mayb dep, under arts council. how convenient that CHU is the arts council pres. haha.

yes. currently i'm still in my floaty state of mind... i think i will run and watch tv.
XOXO

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAS!! ;D

2007-10-20T14:46:00.000+08:00

YOU ARE A SPECIAL SPECIAL PERSON AND I'M SO GLAD I MET U! WHATEVER ELSE I WANT TO SAY WILL BE IN YOUR CARD SO FOR NOW JUST HAVE A SPLENDID SEXY SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY K. :D

LOTS OF LOVE XOXOXOXOXOXOX

"all things work together for good"

2007-10-16T21:43:00.000+08:00

joanneeeee sent me that verse in an sms, and it really made my day. it's so comforting to know that God's always there for me no matter what shit i go thru.

ytd was just _________. but i'm ok now everyone. i dunno what i'd do without my friends (:

yup. but, this will not bring me down.
--shaken not broken.

post promos, pure fun

2007-10-11T20:14:00.000+08:00

i love the times after exams, when we have the license to play hard and to have loads of fun =) the past few days have really rocked and it felt so good not having to touch the books. first!! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO MADE MY BIRTHDAY SPECIAL. THE PRESENTS WERE LOVELY, BUT WHAT WAS MORE MEANINGFUL TO ME WERE THE CARDS/MSGS/SMS-ES. THANKS, YOU ARE LOVED/APPRECIATED BY ME (: ESP TO TBG FOR THE SEXY STAND THINGY! AND SU FOR THE EARRINGS/WALLET/LETTER(: CAS AND NING FOR THE ANNA SUI MINI ROGUE(: AND, CLIQUE FOR THE PLEASURES DELIGHT PERFUME!! heh.
this is the stand that is supposedly very "me", from the beloved TBG =)
birthday dinner @ Cappadocia. middle eastern food,damn nice. it's a good place to chill after drama performances too!cos it's like just behind srt :D

this was how i spent my first day of liberation:

check out mark's funky hair.

outing with the dearest clique on mon @ east coast:

and high tea @ goodwood park with CAS HEATHER NING! the food was good but company was better, i love you three!

man i really had alotta fun! and i managed to visit my grandparents for breakfast on tue too :D it was really nice catching up with them.

wellLLLL practices for arabian nites dance commenced on wed, after a long hiatus for promos. i discovered that i do alot better in dance when i'm not stressed abt other things (i.e. schoolwork), and i'm even more physically flexible too--don't ask me why tho. i'm quite happy because hopefully the rotund tummy which i have acquired over the exam period will go away after all the dancing that i forsee we will be doing. (including CPA gala dinner rehearsals for dance AND drama!)

tml is ac games again. it's quite fun,good job counil ppl=) then afterwards i think kester and me are going out for our long postponed Outing, which will end up in esplanade library becos well, I.S. SCRIPTS ARE SUPPOSEDLY DUE NEXT WEEK MAYBE. :/ time is of the essence. and i still owe ppl their presents, aiyoo.

top of the wish list: estee lauder's pleasuresdelight

2007-09-20T22:18:00.000+08:00

am currently in the midst of revision now. there is a lot to cover,but i am surviving!....not dying of stress or anything likethat, thank God. just that today i was pretty riled up over math in the library, because integration is just purenonsense! it is deceptively difficult, but i bet once you master it, it will be quite manageable. yes i know that the H2 math ppl have it much worse than us, but hey i'm not even that good in math in the first place. on a random note, i'm so happy that i dun take science anymore. i absolutely hate science. it's in the genes i tell u...my whole family is humanities-oriented. (: of course, i'm sure that science can be intriguing, inspiring,interesting and all that..if u like that kinda thing that is. but i swear by the humanities. and oh today i found out that acjc has the largest number of lit students in the 1990 cohort,whoa.

yes anyway i shld be studying but i was just reading CLEO and there is a new fragrance that i really really want. i'm a sucker for perfume, too bad it's such an expensive hobby. well i still showed my mum the ad anyway. just in case i get lucky (:

pleasures delight by estee lauder: top notes of pomegranate, fresh greens and whipped strawberry meringue are delicately balanced with middle notes of a floral bouquet of peony, lily, muguet and heliotrope. Depth is created with unexpected but irresistable rich base notes of sugared rose petals, caramel, marshmallow and vanilla.

i fully intend to stick the ad on my wall to motivate myself to save money.

drama is about friendship too

2007-09-16T16:41:00.000+08:00

2007-09-11T23:14:00.000+08:00

i never thought i'd say this, but i'm glad i can study. like, FINALLY i have time to focus solely on academics with little else to distract me. with only 18-odd days left to promos, it's abt time man. hehe...being able to go home when it's still bright outside is smth i havent been able to indulge in for a long time, so now i'm savouring it :D :D
inventio was just really awesome. all our hard work paid off that nite; the experience was surreal. and yes we got our 'A' :) thankyouuu God. and i love u TBG! on hindsight, i think i really enjoyed the rehearsals, and i didnt mind giving up the holidays to do inventio. i could have been studying/hanging with my friends/whatever, but instead i was in school everyday doing drama stuff. and u noe what, i have no regrets; no resentment. initially it was difficult but i guess it's worth it. i dislike it when ppl pity us...having to stay in sch all the time/having 'no life'. but hey, there's a trade-off for everthing, and i still defend my decision to stick with dep, cos i've learnt alot from it. and i've enjoyed myself for most part of the yr. it's different, and differnt aint necessarily a bad thing. :)

so anw i all fired up with ambition now to mug like hell and get my 'A's and 'B's for promos.
i think. i will not aim for anything less than a 'B',not even for econs. [such ambition!]

22 days to my birthday. which happens to be on the same day as my math paper (oh, joy.)

this past week

2007-09-02T22:08:00.000+08:00

charlotte's farewell last sunday was superbly fun..altho the fun was tinged with some sadness becos of the knowledge that she was leaving. i love the 8 of them man..had a really good time chillin + eating + camwhoring + talking + hunting for presents ;D

hmm this past week has been quite ugh, glad it's finally over. today in church i went up after service to be prayed for, and it was really good. u know, it's true that if u arent right with God, everything else will go nuts. (i figured that out over the course of this week, through first hand experience, no less)

anyway, i was just thinking abt how i used to take outings with my friends for granted, but now i appreciate them so much more cos the opportunities for indulging in such a highly favourable pasttime are few and far between, due to all the other (stupid) things i have to do. so yeah, i REALLY enjoy all the bits and snatches of 'outings' i have with ppl who mean smth to me. like on fri..coldrock ice cream (which is damn awesome, albeit pricey) with jas, visiting rox (who's much better now, thankGod), today's movie+catchingup with bel and shern :)

-egad, i must stop feeling resentful abt where all my time is going to.-

ohwelllllll,this thu is INVENTIO! i'm acting as a man, by the way. (apparently many ppl are induced to buy tickets from me after i mention that little detail,haha) and no, it's not a sissy man either. (:

ok,have a good sept holiday everyone.

life is a stage

2007-08-22T00:35:00.000+08:00

i decided to compile a list of all my performances this yr. (haha yes i am very good at doing up lists for absolutely everything)
hmm. at the end of 2007, i would have done 13 performances. quite appalling..i honestly didnt know it was that many till i counted.

that explains why i've been so busy...... and in light of that, i promise that after arabian nights i will go out with everyone ok? =) everyone who means something to me...i book u all in advance.

MY PERFORMANCE LOG FOR 2007:
so far:
1) chinese new yr concert by ac dance
2) west side story by acsian theatre
3) theasthai (j1 dep exam showcase)
4) RESTLESS IV: TIMELESS by ac dance
5) J2 dep 'a' level exam: -Glory (Anita in america) -Ceci (asoka)
6) Tapestry 2007--street busking along orchard road
7) Bang Bang you're dead by acsian thatre
8) 'i've got rhythm' by ac dance for the 5th asean chief defence force informal meeting

this is what's next on the agenda:
9) 'Inspire 2007' by acsian theate WHICH IS THIS FRI! tix from sistic. it's in aid of the school pocket money fund
10) inventio (j1 dep group exam showcase)---- 6th sep 2007 (thu) @ DBS arts centre, 7.30pm TICKETS FROM ME!! $10. this piece will become the grade for our promo exams
11) open house-- for dance and drama
12) Opening of the CPA. 9th nov @ ritz carlton (for drama and dance)
13) arabian nights

well i think my portfolio is intact; but i really need to focus on my other subjects especially GP cos that's the one which will affect my future the most. i'm thinking of mass comm, like journalism or smth. maybe write for a magazine, which i've always wanted to do. or broadcast journalism's cool too. mayb i'll do theatre part-time. see i actually plan for my future okay. ;)

yeah well. now is busy period for me, and it's hard when i see everyone else having time to study for promos and all, or going out to watch movies etc,cos i don't really have time for that. but i'll live.... this will teach me to manage my time better (?)
i don't regret anything i've done this year tho. and yes, i've alr planned out next year..as in, i more or less have an idea abt what i want to do/don't want to do. yeah

on a final note i must say that leading chapel is really an experience. i didnt noe that no one really participates much, cos my class is in front and all.it's abit disheartening but OHWELL we shall all pray abt that wont we. i guess we'll do it again soon (:
i don't feel very tired now even tho it's 1am, must be the coffee i took in the morning

dhfhsdghdoi
dafkhakdflaofj;dikdogfhdfhdd

now i shall do smth productive, like my great exp essay plan.

musings

2007-08-12T20:41:00.000+08:00

i'm supposed to be writing my lit review for pw (my absolute favourite subject in the world) now, but my brain is nearly going to explode from all the nonsense. today i had this epiphany of sorts...two,actually. but will not bother to elaborate here cos it's way too long.

*i realise that i have a tendency to indulge in SeriousThinking whenever i'm by myself on bus/mrt rides. interesting how numerous important decisions were made on mrt trains...for example, my proposed skill for IS next yr. i had a whole train of thought processes (ok lame pun) in my head when i was making this difficult decision, and my mind was wrestling btw musical theatre and dance+text. [i've selected the latter by the way.] being alone to think/reflect is of paramount importance to me. i like to do it everyday, even if i'm busy. it's all fun and good to be surrounded by friends 24/7, but some time alone is cool too. i like being pensive...it's a side of me that not everyone sees, but it's one of the traits that i'm thankful for.

as Rene Descartes famously said: "i think, therefore i am"

life is fun (sometimes)

2007-08-09T23:05:00.000+08:00

today i had the luxury of waking up at 11:30am (: i LOVE holidays, and esp now that we're all so busy all the time, days like this have become a rarity/a much-needed and well-deserved break, and they are even more essential now
ytd was AWESOME. i spent time with ppl who mean alot to me. one acs was rather boring and it was friggin hot, but the company was good. i was with the drama ppl and we were so noisy!haha(: and best thing was that dearest CHRISTABEL came to sit with us instead of with her school. i really miss that girl.

anw after that my inventio grp+kester,caleb, mao went to kap. i love my inventio grp; thank u guys for being so understanding and respecting me and my faith. i told them i felt uncomfortablwe with some stuff in our original script, cos we were supposed to be tempters...embodying the 7 deadly sins, and i didnt like the association with satan and the dark side,etc. so. we're doing another script now. have less than a month to adapt the new script and get it from page to stage. inventio is on 6sep by the way =) but my grp really rocks cos they are so understanding and i love em all the more for it. cant wait to see them all again tml. ytd we were all looking at our organisers and we realised that there is really alot of things coming up: inventio, inspire'07, arabian nite practices. not to mention pw,promos,commom tests, etc. we were all like 'SHIT!'...but then we kinda prayed and gave it to God, and i felt better abt everything

i bussed with kester to town to meet CAS and MOMO for our long-awaited outing=) kester and yimmy came along tooooo, and we had a nice lunch at the big o. then we walked around and took manymany pictures,esp in toys 'r' us and in all the toilets that we went into=p i love heather and cas so much <3 when i'm with them, i feel high and happy! all three of us are so similar......it's really cool. we will go out soon again ok?? we wanna have a picnic/high tea/go to cool places/have a nice dinner and dress up/etc. but i foresee that the coming weeks will be full of drama (what's new) and dance. ohwell. at least we had fun ytd (:

er. then i went to kester's house to jam,cos we're doing chapel on the 20th. then me and kester watched rush hour 3 at 10pm at shaw plaza. i tell u,it's hilarious!! chris tucker is like motormouth :D good movie. i want to watch so many movies but there aint enuf time for all,sigh
anyhow. ytd was fun. (: i really think that it's days like these that make life beautiful~~~

bounce back

2007-08-07T23:32:00.000+08:00

yesterday ended quite badly, but i'm just thankful that everything's ok now. it taught me that i really have to be more disciplined and controlled, for example: suppressing my outbursts of joy until the appropriate time. it will be difficult cos it's in my personality to be expressive in that manner. but esp now that i'm in dance comm and all... have to be a 'role model'. haha.

i just want to thank all the lovely people who were there for me, encouraging/comforting/praying for me all the way. haha it made everything alot better, and i really feel blessed to have u as friends(:
jas, les, rox, ye, char, jen------- <3!!!
indeed, all this will make me stronger. jen msged me this, which was highly apt: "for i know the plans i have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." from Jeremiah 29:11
God is like the sustainer of everything, it's incredible. i couldn't have made it thru these past few hectic weeks w/o Him, so this is a shoutout kinda thing to the Big Guy Up There: thankyouu so much God =) you're awesome <3 <3
anw, i refuse to let things break me. i am stronger than that!
today was so much better tho..and i must reiterate that i really adore all my friends (:
and tml has very happyprospects as well: no school. the promise of 5 glorious days ahead to catch up with sleep/friends/work/pw (ugh.) and i'm going out with CAS and MOMO (finally!)

yes. don't worry ppl, i'm quite happy and i'm back to normal.

this is what i've been busy with

2007-08-05T18:43:00.000+08:00

tapestry 2007-- street busking along orchard road

sheesh i look rather spastic in the last pose huh :/

post-show: dinner with some J5s. this is jasmin, our NEW DRAMA PRESIDENT! also my good friend---i'm so proud of her (:

in between tapestry and bangbang, there was also the ASEAN chief defence force thingy that i did with ac dance, but unfortunately i have no pictures of that.

anyway. BangBang. backstage with ed (: i'd just like to say that i'm really so thankful for edlyn. we're in the same boat; the only diff is that i'm in dance comm and she's in drama comm. but it's nice to know that at least there's someone going thru the same stuff as me

post-show. ben n jerry's, subway, baybeats, chillin (: i had fun

i have fabulous friends(:

this is the stage for ndp'07, which was designed by HSIEN! he's so amazing my goodness

as with all other performances, bbyd was a great experience(: i love drama ppl so much. and i'm so glad i got to do this piece.

anw i finally spent time with the church ppl like shern and bel (: then i went for my massage which i really needed, and i feel alot better now.

yeah i shld go do agamemnon now, have a gd week everyone

2007-08-04T12:41:00.000+08:00

sometimes when i blog hop and read abt other ppl's lives, i think abt my own, and i wonder if my life is empty. sometimes i feel trapped in the same cycle of doing the same things, and i feel like i'm compromising on so many other things. i want to do so many things, and spend time with so many ppl, but i'm bounded by my all my various commitments. and i feel like there's a distance that's materialising between myself and some ppl in my life, as if i'm slowly being shut out--you know, there but not really there.

yet, i know that the grass is always greener on the other side. so.instead of wallowing in self-pity i am going to do up a list of tangible action points that will hopefully help me to have a more fulfilling life, because that is important to me. i hate to think that my existence is meaningless and monotonous. i cant help it that i have so many rehearsals, or that i have endless hw to do, but what i can do is to make time for other things too, like my family/my non-drama friends/other people/other things not related to drama or dance or schoolwork. yes promos are important. yes rehearsals are important. but there are other things which have greater importance, and i refuse to be consumed by all the externalities in my life of which i have no control over. i shall start from inside.

anyway just now my sister was listening to planetshakers on her room, and as the music wafted thru to my room, i was prompted to do qt...which i've recently neglected in the midst of all the busyness and late nights. the devotion in ODB for aug1 really spoke to me; i thought that it was highly apt.
"My brethen, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience" -james 1:2-3

i really think that thru this trying period of endless rehearsals, late nights and other issues i've been facing, God has used it to refine my character. even tho i havent been doing qt regularly, i've become more dependent on Him.
i'm not proud of the way i've responded to certain situations, but i'll try evenharder now.

i know that everything will be worth it in the end (:
i hope that, even if i lose everything else that is important to me, at least i'll still have Him up there to turn to

pw:

2007-08-03T09:21:00.000+08:00

i hate pw. i have a nice group but i just greatly dislike this subject,and i don't see the relevance of it at all. it is just a mechanism that induces more stress into our already stress-filled lives, and i really do not think it is meeting its objectives/aims so the ministry shld scrap it and prevent future generations from suffering this way. i'm not ranting irrationally by the way.... cos frankly if we evaluate the effectiveness of pw in 'preparing us for the workplace', then it has failed (in that sense). to me, at least. i might be wrong but well those are my views. after all we are all entitled to freedom of speech right? i'm not condemning pw either; i'm just voicing my dissent and frustration. >.<

anyway ytd was i've got rhythm. it was really great!!! :) the event was the 5th ASEAN chief defence force informal meeting-cum-dinner, so there were alot of important ppl. but thank goodness the performance was good, and so was the experience. ah i really LOVE the dancers! <3
next up: Bang Bang You're Dead by ACSian Theatre (j1 batch of '07)... TONIGHT AND TOMORROW NIGHT. have a good weekend everyone

eyebags and sallow skin

2007-08-01T23:06:00.000+08:00

3 things that tell me i'm not getting enough sleep:
-EYEBAGS THE SIZE OF AMERICA
-HEADACHES
-PALE SALLOW SKIN

i do not want to complain about the bleakness of my existence on the internet, but i just want to say that i'm tired, so if i havent been as energetic/enthusiastic abt things as i usually am, you know why. i've been staying back till late everyday and when i get home i still have homework and pw (the bane of my life) to do. :(
it's never-ending. after bangbang, practices start for arabian nights,inventio, open house, promos... i feel like i'm on a train that's going way too fast. it's not stopping and i cant breathe. thank God there's a holiday next week! i'm so tempted to skip skool tml but there's dance perf for the ASEAN ministerial congress thing. kinda exciting, yet... i wonder if we are ready. but we always deliver though (as raj says). :)

......i wonder how i got myself into all this. in a sense, i don't think i regret anything; i just wish things were different. it's no joke toggling 2 ccas man. but now that i'm in dance comm, dance will be my priority cca. drama is an extension of dep, plus,so many of my friends are there. i cant let go of either, so i'll just have to manage. i hate it when ppl tell me that it's "my fault" that i'm so tired though. because i'm really trying to manage the best i can, without burning out/without falling back in my studies/without falling sick. the compromise will of course be that i cant spend as much time with my [non-drama] friends, like cas, heather, shern, bel, chris, etc. i WILL eventually go out with all of u tho, ok? cos i still want a life, you know. and most importantly i still want my friends. there's more important things in life than studies!

thoughts

2007-07-29T23:30:00.000+08:00

our first public performance as a j1 batch, bang bang you're dead, was today at the arts house as part of the celebrate drama 2007.
for the first time ever, i actually loved and felt for this piece. it really spoke to me, especially during ed's visualisation exercise before the show. i never really thought about the real depth and meaning of the words in the script prior to today, but when i did, it made me tear a little.

imagine...
you are young, healthy, with your whole life ahead of you. you have a great family, awesome friends, a zest for life. in a matter of seconds, with one bullet, all that is taken away. all your possibilities, your dreams and aspirations......gone. life extinguished just like that, and you will never know what you could have seen/heard/loved in your lifetime. u will never see your loved ones again, never do all you wanted to do. and all because one other person decided to kill you, just for the heck of it.
i wonder what REALLY goes on in the minds of these killers. take for example the virginia tech guy... i'm sure he had some deeply-rooted psychological issues which eventually fuelled his ghastly killing spree and subsequent self-inflicted death.:( these people... stray too far for others to pull them back, and the only way they know how to channel this rage and anger at the world is to resort to violence. i think it's damn sad.
please come for bang bang if u can. i'm not saying this because i was told to, or because i have to clear tickets, but because i really think it's a very powerful play and it will definitely set you thinking about social issues such as gun control, and it will also make you appreciate your own life even more.

so you make your face a mask
a mask that hides your face
a face that hides the pain
a pain that eats your heart
a heart nobody knows

today i finally uploaded all my photos

2007-07-26T23:56:00.000+08:00

from most recent to least:

youth sunday '07

the fabulous choir (:
i love this shot i took on the bus i think it's very cool (:

Ballet under the stars

sc choir concert

asian boys vol.3

post rgs drama thing

glory and ceci's IS

times spent with friends are truly priceless

anyway today i went to school at 10am becos i was so tuckered out from ytd. we had rehearsal at arts house and i reached home at 12pm (!!). it's really draining...but knowing that all the other drama ppl are going thru the same thing makes it easier to bear.we were all dead today in school, and nick was going arnd asking ppl to show him their eyebags. mine are like the size of africa. but anw, i just want to encourage all the drama ppl to press on alrite! after all this is over, we will emerge stronger and it will be worth it. esp to ning and dharsh..i'm so glad i have u two. we have it the worst cos tapestry,bang bang and 'i've got rhytnm' all clash and there are so many endlesspractices. we'll pull thru, tho. we always have.

sometimes i wonder what good is there in having two ccas. like these 2weeks, rehearsals on both sides clash and we always miss out on one thing or the other. when we have to miss things, we get flak on both sides.i hate feeling like i'm short-changing either cca becos i have to be at the other one. OPPORTUNITY COST is so great (haha i just had to include that). but i guess none of us will give up dance cos we love it so much.it's gonna be like that for the next 1.5 years but AT LEAST WE HAVE EACH OTHER,YES? :)

egad, tml is dance comm interview :/

performance reviews

2007-07-24T00:30:00.000+08:00

ballet under the stars: it was very good, i loved the item about the rose. it's somewhat inspired me for IS next yr (: B.U.T.S was a night of dance, friends, fireworks (from the nearby NDP preview), food, sparkling wine (from cornerstone, no less... going for a scream @ $5. we bought two bottles :) or rather, dear joanne bought 2 bottles for us to share). picnicking under the stars with nice ppl. i love the whole 'under the stars'-open-air concept, it's so novel and different from the usual stuffy thatres.

sc choir concert: a reunion of sorts...i met alot of seniors and old friends.this yr's perf was really good...very different from previous yrs, but in a good way. i honestly didnt expect it to be that good this yr, but mrs goh proved once more that she cna do ANYTHING. (: they took a big risk,deviating from the norm..but it paid off. i really enjoyed the concert, and watching them on stage made me miss being in a choir so much..being in SC choir. ack,the first song they performed was the rose. when they sang it i nearly cried because 1.i was so proud of them 2.all the memories of my secondary school days came flooding back (it was only last yr,but it seems like eons ago) 3. this song was my item in restless this yr,so it has special meaning for me.

asian boys vol 3: watched this last sunday. i enjoyed it tremendously, it is excellent as an artistic piece. simply portrayed--no elaborate set and costumes,yet powerful in its simplicity. the message was lucidly conveyed, and it even managed to wrangle certain emotions from me. the play grappled with a very relevant topic--homosexuality. i liked the way the playwright had all those masked ppl,those scene transitions,the flashback,etc. and, the actors were very competent.as i looked around at the audience, i felt even more sure of the fact that gay men are the hottest ones around,sadly. but anyway, i had to go home a re-evaluate my stand on homosexuality though. i have to talk to someone abt it.. like some strong christian or smth... cos,i'm starting to personally think it's ok. i do have gay friends,and i've told them repeatedly that i love/accept them for who they are. u can't change who you are right? i understand how hard it must be for them,and that makes me want to accept them even more.it's very hard, but what really helps os for friends and family to be supportive and understanding. yet, i know that God hates this sort of thing; He said so in His word. :( it's all very confusing: what society accepts and tolerates contradicts what God wants us to accept/tolerate. the christian belief is being watered down, if we stick by it, ppl will condemn us for being old-fashioned/uptight.sighh :( on the other hand, i myself don't want to condemn homosexual people,it's not only wrong; it's low. :(

yeah but anw, i'm very happy that i got in to the asean thing for dance! (: i didnt expect it,esp since i have drama overload this week due to bangbang. but i'm veryhappy that he chose me,i'll do my best man. and show him that he didnt choose wrongly (:

oh. just now i was reading someone's blog. i feel bad for all the times i've been mean. i want to change i want to change;i nearly cried when i was reading her blog u noe :(

(:

2007-07-19T22:04:00.000+08:00

what doesnt kill u will only make u stronger. thanks everyone who tagged on my comment board (: the rest of the week, albeit tiring, was much better. i think it's cool that we can always draw strength from God and how everything becomes so much more manageable after we give it up to Him.

by the way HAPPY SEXY SEVENTEENTH NING!!!! i loooove u
anyway, on wed my whole body ached all over..i dunno if it's a good thing cos er, i guess it means i've been burning alot of calories (??), and tearing muscles, as ning said. :/ monday we had tapestry prac, tue dance+youth sun acap prac, wed dance+tapestry. i was thinking abt it, and july really seems to be CHOCK FULL of performances. i made a list of them (yes i realise that i'm always making lists, but they make me feel organised u see)
in july:
-performed for: glory and ceci's dep exam pieces (YES YES I WILL PUT UP PICTURES SOON AND SEND IT TO ALL THE PPL WHO REQUESTED FOR THEM!)
-watched (so far): Dim Sum Dollies, Asian Boys vol 3, dep IS showcase, rgs drama production
-going to watch: SC choir concert...tomorrow (: and ballet under the stars on sat
-going to perform for: TAPESTRY [28 july, 5pm @ ngee ann city--pls come down to support us!], Bang Bang you're Dead [3 and 4 aug @ sub station--pls buy tickets from me if interested thankyou], and for dance: open house on 8sept and (HOPEFULLY) the broadway dance for the asean thing (auditions are on sat :/) and lastly for church: this sunday: AMC YOUTH SUNDAY! 10:15am @ aldersgate methodist church. i will be in the choir+acapella item. :)

yes, so many things so little time. but i just hope that all this will be good for honing my performative skills man. oh and bytheway we are playing for the cf worship tomorrow(: hehe

lastly this is a shoutout thing for SHERN!
besttea, i'm soo proud of u for making it to council exco, and on mon when u were installed i felt so extremely happy for u, cos i KNOW that u're gonna shine in the place God has put u in. (: and thanku for the sweeet messages that day,they really made me feel better. you've always been there for me and i'm so thankful for someone like u. rem i'll be here for u too k(: and yes we'll be
like jonathan and david k. loveu loads <3>

murphy's law in full force

2007-07-16T23:24:00.000+08:00
where do i even begin? today was one of the lousiest days i've had in a long time. had a headache that plagued me all thru the day at varying degrees of pain. lost one of my new earrings that i bought 2 days ago. my wallet button broke. got screwed big time during tapestry,sigh. i hate being such a slow learner. i take a long time to nail steps down, becos i'm not the type of ppl who can pick it up quickly. after i nail the steps,though, i know i can deliver a great performance. it's just the initial moments of learning a dance that i hate, because ppl tend to judge dancers on how quickly they learn steps, which isn't really fair because that doesn't define a true dancer at all. but i have faith in myself that i can and will deliver eventually. that's ultimately what's the most important thing isn't it? i learn by muscle memory, which means that i have to constantly do the action,if not i'll forget it. sigh

also, it hit me today that pretty soon, i will have no semblance of a life.at least till the end of the month. >.<

people like me cannot function this way!

just now i was wallowing in abject self pity, and disgusting myself in the process. we all have BADdays like this...today just opened my eyes to certain aspects of my existence that i am far from happy with. actually i wanted to start this entry with i hate my life, but then i decided against it, because even though i've uttered those 4 words countless times today (out of sheer frustration), i guess i don't really mean it, deep down. at least i hope not :(
i don't want to have regrets in life, but today as i watched the 32nd students' council getting installed, i was just sitting there and wishing that i had run for council, becos being in a coucil like that is so...worthwhile. in sc, i had so many opportunities for leadership, and i took those for granted. i hate feeling regretful, but it's too late now. :(

you know,happiness is really soelusive. i remember, i was so happy when i found out that i got into dep. so happy, when i found out i got into westside. so happy when i got into acjc. yeah,but all that, and other instances of 'happiness',were all short-lived. nth gives true happiness except God.. havent we heard that numerous times alr? but there is truth in that you know. i know He's testing me; He always has been, but it's a painful process that we all have to go thru in order to grow.

k i'm glad i've more or less sorted out my thoughts. at least there's no more inner turmoil and sadness anymore. negativity is self-destructive, but then again it's human nature.i hope to snap out of this pathetic state soon.

tml will be a better day!

OOPS =p

2007-07-09T08:08:00.000+08:00
as i expected, i did leave out alot of ppl on my list so i feel very bad and i decided to give these ppl another entry! (:
YULIANG
JOANNEHUANG
YUMING
NING
CHAR
CHIN
ROSE
JEAN
STEF
4GY PPL
DRAMA/DANCE (TOO MANY. I REALLY HAVE TO STOP HERE,EOM IS DUE TODAY AND I'M AT HOME DOING THIS. BLUE SLIPPED FOR THE WEEK, BY THE WAY,IN CASE ANYONE THINKS THAT I'M PONNING SCHOOL,SO THERE :D)

yes. i hope ur big name is there now <3333
anw, on a parting note, i'd just like to say:
dearest j2 deppers, wanna wish u all the best for this week. u've all been working so hard for ur IS,i'm sure it will all pay off and u guys will get the grades u deserve. (: don't be nervous ok. we are behind u all the way. GO BLOW THE EXAMINER AWAY!

i <3 mark and yelynnn =)

2007-07-04T21:56:00.000+08:00
i love being around my good friends.
on mon i went to orchard for awhile with ye, then vivo to meet her sis+sis's boyfriend+mark. we watched nancy drew, which is a rather bad movie by the way. the saving grace is the cool preppy fashion nancy dons, and her cute boyfriend [i think the actor is Max Thieriot??]. oh oh ,and rachel leigh cook...she's so superbly gorgeous i tell u. but ok,the movie did give me an adrenaline rush at times...just that the plot was abit too predictable, and not very intricate. i hereby deem it a tween flick,since it's star is emma roberts after all. tween flicks are fun to watch,but more or less brainless. nancy drew was,in mark's words, "amusingly bad". haha :D but the company was good so it was still enjoyable.

i met ye and mark on tue again for dinner @ tea party! haha...we did our work too and spent alot of $$ on food. tea party is a fabulous place to chill,and their scones are the bomb. the crispy chicken thing is good too.
so i had an overdose of these two unity ppl over two holidays,but i'm not complaining. haha (:

the other day i was being bo-liao and thinking abt all the ppl who mean alot to me. i even separated them into the different aspects of my life ok! haha. yes i know i'm wonky. but it's a cute list...............................................................

ppl i love especially much (some are repeated names cos they are in more than one aspect of My Life):
*drama: mark+ye+kester+gabby+dharsh+jen+suyee+les+roxy+glory+jas+ed+etc
*dance: cas+momo+rich+cheryl+claire+seniors like candice, ken, perry,l ydia, etc + dharsh+ ed+les+etc
*church: shern+bel+chanel+chris+suyee+aud+kev+deb+clinique[just kidding ;p]+natalie ang+etc
*family: all, esp natalie ang
*sc: jess+jas+zara+lishan+etc
*etc etc
i hope i didnt leave out anyone. woo hoo,i hope that if they read this and see their big name up there, a surge of joy will spring forth from the innermost depths of their secret souls and a wide smile will spread on their faces like the sun's beams on a summer day. :D

healing rally

2007-07-02T00:11:00.000+08:00
i was touched ytd, and now i am convinced more than ever that i serve an awesome God. altar call...i didnt go up to be prayed for initially, because i felt that i didnt require any form of physical/spiritual healing at that point of time...plus, there were already alot of ppl up there, wanting to be prayed for. My previous experiences at such altar calls also didn't impact me much, so i thought that this one would be the same, and i didnt bother going up. As such, when he was praying for other ppl, i sat by myself and meditated abit. God spoke to me, in a way. i was struck by how unworthy i was, to be loved by such an awesome God. There was a man who had constant spasms, up in front. i was observing him and thinking to myself how blessed i am to be healthy/safe/happy...how i really don't deserve all this. It nearly made me cry ok! The mantra "Less me, more God" also kept popping up in my head. I was thinking abt how i'm often so focussed on myself and what makes me happy, that i forget that i was created for a greater purpose other than myself. yeah... it was a small revelation for me. all this was previously head knowledge, but on saturday it became smth i knew in my heart.i felt closer to God after that.
Then, i was talking to joel tan/dawn/jesse...and they were telling me how pastor francis could tell them what was wrong with them,w/o them saying a word. i was amazed, but wasnt sure if i should go up. eventually i did, and i'm so glad i did.I didnt say anything to pastor khoo, but in my heart there was a nagging issue that i was thinking abt. To my amazement, pastor khoo addressed it (indirectly), and i was so overwhelmed that i CRIED. (i don't cry very often, by the way) yeah...it was very good. i was AMAZED ok.

after the healing rally i went to taka to meet jess and jas for dinner!! i love them man (: nth beats catching up with old friends. and jess told me smth quite um, shocking, but whatever. i can't believe he didn't tell me himself (!!!) TSK.
it was fun hanging with the two of them tho. yay(:

tml...bangbang, then i think i'm going out with some funky ppl from aa1! :D so glad it's a holiday

BLISSSSSS TERMS ARE OVER OVER OVER(:

2007-06-29T12:02:00.000+08:00
YEAH I'M HAPPY, CAN U TELL? :)
ytd i celebrated by getting 2 CDs+one magazine+ice cream+watching chicago :) and, i just painted my toenails, which is smth i havent done for 1934785460 years. i remember during those halcyon secondary school days, i'd change the colour of my toenails every week, then in jc i stopped because 1. no time (haha what's new) 2.i read an article somewhere that u shld let ur nails 'breathe' once in a while, if not they will turn YELLOW. and mine had a slight tint of yellow already...like jaundice. it freaked me out,hence the nail polish hiatus. but it's hard to resist for too long, and anyway my mum constantly asks me why my toenails are so boring nowadays.. so TA-DA, mummy. :)
OH. the other day my sister brought home the 2006 SCGS SCHOOL MAGAZINE. i had nostalgia overkill, my gosh.... only then did i realise how much i miss sc. :( i may be an acsian for these two years or so, but i'll always be an sc girl (: true-blue somemore. .TEN YEARS. that's like more than half my life. 10 years in the blue 'sundress', and then the the white vest.
i'm so thankful for the sc girls in ac now.. whenever i see any of them i feel a connection, ya know? there's LESLEY and ROX in drama. JOAN, SHAAN, YING, MELISSA in dance. AND JAN, SHI, ELLY, RACH, SUYIN, DREA, JOCE, JAZ, YIMMY, TANIA, MARCIA etc. did i leave out anyone????
anyway, felt inspired to do a pictorial tribute the the sc days (swell memories, hell yeah):

things i miss:
-clean toilets
-fabulous 4gy (yay class outing soon!)
-exco <3
-prefects, esp DISCO
-lit trip
-teachers
-miss heng ;(
-choir
-friends. :(
-familiar surrondings/faces
-etc
memories i treasure:
-dramafest
-chinese talentime
-sports day
-choir trip to sydney. singing in the opera house
-lit trip to nz.
-all the choir concerts
-exco meetings, esp when we were planning prom
-school days in general, when we walked as a class, to all our different venues
-etc
basically i miss the school. yeah
but ac's good, i'm happy here i guess

pensive moment

2007-06-25T21:17:00.000+08:00
i'm feeling reflective now, so i've decided to evaluate the holiday which has just gone by. well i must say it was quite enjoyable...productive...and a much needed respite from all the early mornings and late nights that is so typical of school life.
this june, i got to catch up with some of my friends. and i got to catch up with God. yeah I'M DOING QT REGULARLY NOW!!!!! and i hope to keep it that way.(:
of course, bad stuff happened too [such is the nature if human existence].. but i've moved on. gotten over it,learnt from it. i learnt alot abt myself and the ppl around me actually. think i've become slightly more inward-looking and reflective (which is good)
oh! i tried to cure my habit of being perpetually late.it kinda worked and i hope to be early, or at least on time, for future appointments. yes,dun laugh people
my one regret though, is that i didnt get to go shopping :( :( as in, serious retail therapy. i didnt take advantage of GSS (!!!). the next time i'll be free to shop will probably be when the 7% GST comes into effect, SIGHHH. but i suppose everything has an opportunity cost (pardon the intrusion of economic jargon, i have an econs exam tml haha). i didnt indulge in my shopping fantasy but i was engaging my mind with more intellectually stimulating pursuits (i.e. mugging), and when i wasnt mugging, i was everywhere else but a mall. but enough of that. oh, might i add that i have gotten over the whole bimbo-ditz thing already.:D CALL ME WHAT U LIKE, IT DOESNT FAZE ME ANYMORE.
yes i really should go back to my demand and supply notes now. three more days till end of terms :D then i can party/shop/go out with jas and jess and uh... do my EoM, go for bangbang rehearsals, write inventio script, etc etc [insert scholarly pursuit] :/

gee, God certainly has a sense of humour huh

one more day to school :(

2007-06-24T00:34:00.000+08:00
ack. gp terms in one more day.. our first ever JC exam. :/ i'm sick of mugging man...it's very draining, even tho all you do is sit there and try to absorb the information [that doesnt want to be absorbed].
so this week, i decided to treat myself to different things cos i felt like i deserved it, after mugging so much. heh(:
let's see on tue shern suddenly felt like watching a movie so i caught ocean's 13 with her @ JP, it was really good! BRAD PITT is gorgeous stuff man (: go watch this movie if u havent...it's not all fluff, as are some of the other blockbusters which have recently invaded our cinemas. u need at least some grey cells to understand certain parts of the plot. anw, after the movie ended it was like 12am(?) and it was kinda dark/deserted.. kinda exciting but scary,cos there were all these malay ahbengs sitting arnd smoking and looking at ppl who walked past [i.e. us]. we met some ppl for supper @ west coast macs and had good fellowship tgt. i went home at 2 and would u believe it i actually had the willpower to read my econs for awhile before i slept. (: *cue clapping*
then thu was glory's IS ppl outing-cum-girls' nite out (minus chu, who was MUGGING at home...!!) to p.u.r.e @ attica.. hell lotta fun. crowd was not bad, albeit some of the guys were urm.. weird,shall i say? haha. and the company (CAS, GLORY AND PERRY) was fantastic. (: we took alot of pictures! since i couldnt go for vaunt2, this more than made up for it. i think i burnt manymany calories dancing (: like cas says, it's great cardio. haha. only thing is that my biological clock went abit screwy for awhile after that, cos i slept from 4am-12pm,and i kept feeling bouts of fatigue during the day whilst i was trying to mug @ starbucks/BK with my favourite mark. but really, wadever. had fun

oh yes. i tried the new starbucks azuki frapp blended cream thingy, it's quite yummy but a tad too sweet. it's only for a limited season i think, and i read somewhere that it was created exclusively for Asia pacific, China and japan. rip-off tho.. $7.20 for the smallest size :/
oh yes today i went for a full body javanese massage,cos i decided that my body had too much tension from studying! ahaha(: the masseuse was excellent and she didnt make me uncomfortable at all even tho i was in the buff. went home oily and smelling of lemongrass; my sister refused to hug me.
yes. after all this i feel better abt taking the exams. i think i'm ready. (: no i'll never be ready, but now's a good time as ever i suppose.
ALL THE BEST, DEAREST FELLOW J1s (: WE CAN ACE THIS TGT.

a slew of picturesss

2007-06-19T16:05:00.000+08:00
pcg last friday at changi airport! i wore a hat so that ppl wouldnt ask abt the eyebrows. heh. went to embroider my brows on thu so they became horrendously dark/defined. but the stuff is peeling off now so YAY. will be normal in a couple of days, and then they will be awesome(:

after ac choir concert. it was very very good!

cip @ sembawang national library. we did town mouse and country mouse for the kids, who were fabulously adorable. they laughed when i pretended to snore [during the play].. how cute is that?

dance ppp! i decided to go as grace kelly in the end because i wanted to wear my pink dress

it was a total blast, esp when we danced the nite away..excellent cardio workout. goshhh, i'm gg to miss the dance seniors like crap tho:( once school reopens we'll be on our own :/

june hols till now

2007-06-12T23:25:00.000+08:00
yikes the june hols are disappearing so fast >.< i havent really studied much.it's quite scary,since terms are looming near. been going to sch nearly everyday for glory's piece/drama/other meetings. i wish i cld spend time with ppl. like on sunday i couldnt go out with the church ppl cos i went for dance restless screening instead.sometimes i feel as tho we have to specially make time for each other,because our paths hardly cross. even tho we're in the same school,i hardly see you. and now we're close to different people.i mean,we're still close, but.... it's hard to express. and sometimes it saddens me :(
that aside tho,i havent been to any parties other than dance ppp. tonite cas asked me to go for frolic@MOS and i really wanted to BUT decided to come home to do my online stuff instead. but next thu i think i might go with cas/glory/perry to attica for the angel party thing. so exciting!! i really want to just dance&dance and have fun,cos life is becoming abit boring.
on a random note, i wish i had been born during marie antoinette 's time. watched the movie at rich's house the other day and i absolutely love all their dresses and elaborate hairdos and Victorian-inspired paraphernalia and dainty finger food. sigh(:

phooey,blogspot is being idiotic and i cant upload all my nice pictures of ppp+choir concert. will have to wait till next time i guess.

oh, and i ripped this from jasmin's <3 blog:

ACSian Theatre Proudly Presents

BANG BANG YOU'RE DEAD
by William Mastrosimone

03 Aug 2007
04 Aug 2007

7.30pm

$15

The Substation
Guinness Theatre

This play was made to show and end violence and teasing between teenagers in schools. When the play was performed for the first time, more than 100,000 downloads from internet occurred of the video play and many other schools around the world began to perform the play. The play centers on the lead character Josh, a teenage boy who shoots his parents and five schoolmates, and is then haunted by physical manifestations of his memories of them.
(From Wikipedia)
A production of a full J1 cast, this play promises to reach to the hearts of many in line with the Virginia Tech killings. It also aims to raise awareness on violence and the emotional struggles of teenages.

Come experience
the pain
the hurt
the beginning of the end of Josh

"You make your face mask.
A mask that hides your face.
A face that hides your pain.
A pain that eats your heart.
A heart nobody knows."

tickets from me(: or any other BBYD member. come watch ok, it's wad we've been going back to school for this june hloiday,hehe

church camp '07

2007-06-07T10:26:00.000+08:00
i thought it was quite good. (:
altho i had a Relentless Fever on day 1 and 2, which resulted in me having to constantly rest in bed.... it wasnt too bad,cos my dear roomie CHANEL LAM was sick too, and common suffering bonds people tgt,haha(: but i really appreciated all the concern showered upon the two of us. THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS!! i think,like shern said, God was telling me to slow down. cos i havent had time to really rest properly after restless,and i've been running around doing goodness knows what. i think, it was a timely sickness.
yeah anyway,i enjoyed spending time with all my friends and catching up with them. havent really had alot of time to spend with them lately and i feel quite bad abt that,so i'm kinda glad i got an avenue to do so this camp. quite apt too, cos the theme was "growing the family of God",and we had bowling, team building activities etc. sigh if only chris and joanne and kev and the others were there too,though :(
and i discovered that the adults are pretty fun to hang with too. my mummy can GROOVE ok!!!cos there was this thingy at the lounge on the last nite and some ppl were getting up to dance, and so i dragged my mummy up and danced with her. AHAHAHAA it was quite fun. she met my dad at a dance you know, how terribly interesting(:
i don't think i was greatly impacted by this camp or wadever, but it did strenghten bonds so.. good la.

as for this week...i've been going to school everysingleday. tell me, what kind of holiday is this man? >.< ahwell,tml is dance ppp and it'll be a blast, i promise. only thing is I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR. >.< the theme is famous dead ppl............................................................... ack.

hmmmm.i have a cheongsam.....mayb i'll bluff my way thru and say i'm anna may wong or smth.

in all seriousness, i do believe that i am one of the most underestimated ppl in the world.

2007-05-30T00:07:00.000+08:00
*disclaimer: this is not out to diss any particular person/group of ppl,so don't intellectualise too much. i just decided that i didnt want to bottle all this up anymore.

i would really appreciate it if people would stop calling me bimbo/ditz, or associate me with anything vaguely bimbotic/ditzy, even if it's done in a light-hearted manner (i.e. in jest) because it really isnt funny anymore; in fact, i resent it. and today was kinda like the-straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back.

yeah so i mightn't be the smartest person around but i know for a fact i'm not dumb. and ppl underestimate me,maybe they don't think i'm serious enough because i'm always [usually] happy and smiling and high.or maybe i talk with alot of hand gestures/head movements,whatever. it's part of my personality.
so i've been playing along with everyone...i didnt think it mattered that much but now i guess it just does..u know? it didn't affect me that much either,until today. i mean, even if it's done in jest, repeated instances can be hurtful. not just to me, but to just abt anyone else. i'm quite tired of all this, and tired of trying to change ppl's [warped] perception of me. i'm cool with who i am, i just dislike all the ribbing. which,by the way, happens on a daily basis.

yeah, think what u want of me, but just be discerning with your words,becos words are powerful and they carry more weight than you think. some thoughts are not meant to be articulated, some opinions are better kept to yourself, and some questions shouldn't even be asked.

~timeless memories~

2007-05-27T19:30:00.000+08:00
lesley being horny. gasp!

what really goes on backstage b4 a show

me and candyman!

my mirror(: which was unable to serve its original purpose of reflecting my face,as it was covered with notes from lovely ppl. not that i'm complaining

dharsh insisted of a picture of the danceshirt.

shawn shows of his feminine side. AHAHA

friendship is truly timeless(:

one hell of an experience(:

2007-05-27T18:51:00.000+08:00
this one week spent @ nafa's lee foundation theatre with the awesome ac dancers has got to be my best AC experience yet,in my short 5mths of being in this school. =)i LOVE the dancers so much man!!!we certainly delivered 3 kick-ass shows huh? the friendships forged,the camaraderie,the way all of us just gave to the dance,the way we cheered and screamed for each other,the way we all sat tgt to do our makeup,the way we all fooled around....everything's gonna be etched in my memory for a long,long time. it was certainly MAGICAL,that's for sure. when i was on that stage,with the bright lights,the audience's expectant faces and my fellow dancers around me,i just felt so genuinely happy to be alive. yeah,it's true that dance is an expression of the soul(: i love this cca precisely cos we all get to do what we love,and cos it's so caring. the buddy system,and the post-its we stuck on each other's mirrors to encourage one another...u cant find that kinda thing anywhere else.and i like the fact that this was a collective effort. sure,some ppl had 8 items,some had 4 or 5,but ultimately the show rocked cos we ALL gave 100%. (:
i'm really gonna miss the J2s so much u know :( sigh. having severe restless withdrawal symptoms now. it's like the end of a dream,and now we're all tossed back to reality.get on with life,mug for terms,etc.haha..the only cd that's been playing and re-playing on my radio the whole week is the restless cd.all the songs churn up so many memories...i know i'll never get sick of them
raj said that God must really love ac dance(: and i think it's really true cos we've been so blessed! the weeks leading up to restless were intensive,but no one fell seriously sick or injured themselves,so much so that they couldnt dance.i guess my faith was strenghthened this restless week too,and foet hat i'm thankful
thanks everyone who went down to support us!!! and thank u dancers for sharing the experience with me,i love u <3
Live your dance,dance your life

-

2007-05-20T20:47:00.000+08:00
hello who wants to go to vaunt2 with me??
cheryl doesnt want to go
shawn cant
zara has a class sleepover
HELLO HELLO HELLO PLEASE TELL ME IF U'RE FREE ON THE 29TH AT NIGHT OK. I DON'T WANT TO GO IF THERE'S NO ONE TO GO WITH =(

feeling itchy to type hence the relatively long entry

2007-05-20T19:09:00.000+08:00
i feel so VICTORIOUS that i made it thru this insanely crazy week(:
let's see.
mon i was late for sch and had dc again. it really wasnt my fault (again) but nth i cld do abt it. >.<
tue i slept at 2am because i went out for dinner with chanel and joyce, then i sewed my restless jeans late into the night with only the radio for company............................
wed i slept at 3:30am doing my lastminute gp assignment,with only the radio and a can of coffee for company. i hate gp btw!
thu i was so sleepy in sch...and then there was dance
i was shagged that when i reached home on thu at 9plus,i ate dinner then i plonked onto the bed..supposedly for half an hr,but ended up sleepin till morning. slept thru the nite without bathing/brushing teeth/doing hw.. UNINTENTIONALLY,of course.anw i woke up in my dirty dance tee shirt,felt quite disgusting. of course i bathed b4 sch,friends.i'm not that gross.
but anw i still made it thru the day,and fri too..albeit with a slight headache, probably due to all the sleep deprivation. i slept till 10:30 on sat morning,woke up feeling loads better(:

theasthai...gah. i thot i didnt do very well. our duologue was classified under 'the funnies' (i.e. comedy) but hello?i didnt think it was funny at all la.and ppl didnt really laugh. it was demoralizing,depressing,disappointing. ok,i exaggerate,but didnt help that i was feeling emo that day.everyone else's piece was so good tho,really so proud of all my depper friends(: .after theasthai some ppl went out for supper i think,but i wasn't in a celebratory/big-crowd kinda mood so went to macs @ tiong with ed,then went home to shower and plonk onto bed.
this week is restless week (: even tho we'll be missing the last crucial week of sch, the prospect of spendin one week with the dancers <3 and just dancing our hearts out,more than makes up for it.

on another note,someone told me i changed alot after i came to jc. i guess it's inevitable to change,because change is constant.but i didnt like what she told me.or mayb it was the way in which she told me. i don't even know myself if what she said is true.well, i guess some parts are,but definitely not others. i pride myself on the fact that i'm a very reflective/introspective person (more so than i appear to be). but u know what,i don't have anything to prove to anyone so it shouldn't really matter....i dunno why i was so bothered :( i know i've changed in some ways,but i'm still the same person in many other aspects
no one can really understand fully what i experience;similarly,i can't fully understand what other ppl experience. and i wish ppl wouldnt judge me based on first impressions,becos i've learnt that first impressions are often highly inaccurate (in most cases). i know i am not really a ditz. i know i have substance

another thing i dislike: when ppl assume that i'm neglecting my priorities just becos i appear to be preoccupied with other things in my life. i know how much i can take (even tho it may seem otherwise),and if i want to do smth,i'll do it. sure i may be fickle and everything,but in the end i do it. when ppl pity me for being 'perpetually tired'/perpetually busy,it makes me push on all the more,just to prove that i can

there seem to be alot of things that other ppl don't know/don't understand abt me.and i'm not even that complex a person :/

i don't know why, but i'm finding it harder and harder to really maintain friendships. joyce said that extroverts tend to have alot of friends,but few deep friendships.it's the whole qnty over quality, breadth over depth concept. which kindof sucks,becos what's the pt of having alot of friends but only a few really close ones?sometimes i wish i was more introverted,i really do =(

party central!

2007-05-09T23:46:00.000+08:00
i love parties, especially those with themes. (: debbie's one was retro, and jai's was punk rock. both damn fun, good respite from the hum-drum of life. i went for jai's party even tho it meant not finishing muggin for econs test the next day,but no regrets man,had a blast with all the cool people. hehehe.

i believe i bear a striking resemblance to fishes

kev what a cool shirt

me and dawnnn

trying unsuccessfully to be emo

retardedness is my thang baby

chris and min(:

me bestie, who will DEFINITELY get into council. with MY support of course, haha

mark's adorable kids(:

ZARA IF U'RE READING THIS, I'M SO SORRY I COULDNT MAKE IT TO UR PARTY BABE :( :(WE'LL LUNCH SOMETIME TO MAKE UP FOR IT K?

(:

2007-04-28T22:48:00.000+08:00
friday was emo day,but i'm kinda glad all the shit happened cos it drew me jas and ed closer tgt.loveya babes! i dunno why, but it was like a Bad Day for everyone..kathy lost her phone,me/jas/ed/mark/frances had problems of our own,ppl were short-tempered.. etc.i feel bad cos stuff which i'm not exactly proud of was coming out of my mouth at various intervals.and i swore in front of a cremo customer cos i was pissed with the ice cream (it didnt want to be ball-shaped when i scooped it--stupid reason but as i said,it was a pissy day) i made it up by giving him extra icecream.
anw, i think any day that starts with PW will inevitably put everyone in a not-so-good mood. sigh. I HATE PW. i love my group ppl,i just hate the whole concept of pw,and i greatly dislike our pw tr,but shant mention names here cos its cyberspace i.e. not safe. haaha
but deb's party that nite was really fun,and i felt so much better after that.oh...i've decided to run for drama comm.was so indecisive but ah,just gonna submit the form and leave it to God(:.thats the smartest thing to do, i think.
right,homework beckons.... or rather,gpp. the workload gets heavier by the day,all we can do is to slowly morph into robots for the edu system,and feel life being sucked out of us--

syf-- fosse

2007-04-24T23:35:00.000+08:00
good luck dancers!!!!!!!(: blow the judges away with a kick-ass performance!

2007-04-22T18:10:00.000+08:00
you know,
i was the one who was there for you when everyone else wasn't.
i was the one who listened when u needed someone to talk to.
but now that things are better,i feel so insignificant in your life..it's as if i don't matter anymore. but i guess,whatever makes u happy.

*on a lighter note,it felt very good to be back in church today(:

random thoughts

2007-04-17T23:59:00.000+08:00
JC--- the workload is getting heavier by the day,and right now i'm learning how to get by with 4-5hrs of shut-eye on a daily basis. weirdly enough tho, is that i feel more energetic with less sleep,haha(: can't help it,my optimum time for doing work is late at night...i guess that can either be a blessing or a curse eh.but u know,even with all the silly academically-related stuff that we have to do (like 3 GP articles a week---roar),i cant say i'm unhappy..cos i love my friends,i love going for dance and talking to ppl. the only thing thats bugging me everyday is whether or not i've fallen short of my own expectations as a christian. like,whether or not i'm a good enough testimony,whether i'm doing the right thing etc etc. it's hard. in JC,boy it's hard. cos there are temptations everywhere. i didnt go to church on sat and sun cos of dance camp,and cos i was seriously tuckered out. i slept till 12 on sunday,haha. so am feeling rather spiritually dry now.
u noe,i don't want to look back on life next time and only remember work,or performances or outings with friends and stuff. i want to look back and think hey, i made time for meaningful pursuits too ok. ya know? (: i have a feeling that everyone (who's not in drama/dance) thinks that i'm damn busy or smth,which is kinda true...but as i've said before, i'll always make time for my friends. so don't feel threatened by my busy-ness ok.
yeah.

shucks i have to do GP now ARGHHH :/

dance camp '07

2007-04-17T00:01:00.000+08:00
~live your dance,dance your life~
dance camp was damn fun(: i love ac dancers so much so much

red hot chilli padi!! hawtstuff.

ed(: and the heavy stage makeup+falsies which are friggin cool

shawn!in his retro outfittt
sc-ac dancers (: (:
girls galoreeeee

allow the pictures speak for themselves

2007-04-15T23:05:00.000+08:00

theatre week 2007

r

theatre is magical

2007-04-09T01:02:00.000+08:00
theatre week was simply awesome. altho we missed a whole week of sch and will probably have piles of work to catch up on, it's all worth it.(: like cas said,this week was like an escape from reality. i personally felt that it was a much-needed respite from the humdrum of sch life. either way, it was a great experience and i'm so thankful that i was part of this production. i love all the drama ppl to bits!! you guys rock so hard(: haha apparently w/o us, the sch was much quieter,esp in the canteen cos there were so few of them left at the drama table.
anw...thanku cast for making me feel part of a such a close-knit community. i love you seniors for showing us the ropes and for being so nice/hilarious(: and the j1s..esp those in ROOM 3!!u guys are the best and i had loads of fun with you man. dharsh les ed rich cas kes jo..*hugs* also kudos to the CREW+rach&ariel+ticketing ppl+FoH ppl for being awesome,the backbone of this whole production.really appreciate everyone of u!!! -loves-

i must say it's been a roller-coaster ride all the way. over these 4 months of prep for WSS,i've experienced highs and lows but i'm so thankful that God saw me thru it all. yeah He sure knows what He's doing alright(: i was stupid to ever doubt Him.
anyway, next week all of us have made a pact to 1) mug like hell,cos we missed so much in terms of lessons and schoolwork 2) be damn healthy cos we stuffed ourselves silly backstage over the course of the week. i think i gained like wad,3 kilos. and bytheway i never want to see another loaf of raisin bread ever again :/
oh yes,the shows were kick-ass! i think we totally deserved the post production party.(: after sat nite show me jas yelyn ed went over to les's house to eat/chill/talk b4 heading to raeza's house for the party. i love u guys to bits!! had SO much fun talking..girls nite out yeah(: anw we reached raeza's house at around 2am i think. there was this huge bouncy castle, it was damn fun. perfectlyhilarious--a bunch of 17/18/19 yr olds bouncing and rolling around on an inflatable pirate ship(: besides bouncing,it was nice talking to various grps of ppl too..and of course eating all the tubs of ben n jerry's. went home arnd 4. wasnt planning to sleep but i knocked out in the end,and slept for 2hrs then woke up and went for easter service.i tried to stay awake during service (really!) but it was so hard cos i couldnt function properly. eyebags the size of america :/ had lunch then went home and crashed for 5hrs. ok tml,i will pick up the pieces of my life and attempt to move on.......but it's gg to be damn hard i tell u. :(

even tho i'm so busy,even tho pursuing this will mean less time for myself/my family/my friends/my academics, i know deep down that i can never let myself drop it because i love it way too much. sacrifices have to be made,i guess.
next up: -Theasthai, the J1 DEP exam showcase. 19 May 2007 @ DBS arts centre, 7pm
-ACJC Dance Society presents: RESTLESS IV--"TIMELESS". 23-25 May 2007, 8pm @ NAFA,Lee Foundation Theatre.

i'll put up pictures next time,ciao.

i'm good(:

2007-04-02T09:42:00.000+08:00
i think i'm much better now,thanks to the awesome ppl around me.
been busy with west side rehearsals..but it's comforting to noe that it'll be over by sat. YES U READ CORRECTLY,WEST SIDE STORY @ DBS ARTS CENTRE IS THIS WEEK! so i'll be missing the whole week of school, but heck,it'll be fun(: it's next week that will suck..all the catching up of schoolwork and stuff ..... *shudders* :/

special mention to my friends:
ray (thnks ray for being an immense blessing),shern,clarence,jess,chris,chin(u're really an awesome senior,and i respect u soo much),cheryl (i miss u),sarah(i miss u too),grace <3,denise,and er..the anonymous ppl on my tagboard.
thank you,i really appreciate everything.

i think i've learnt alot from this,and it's only going to make me stronger.the little things don't carry so much weight anymore. (:

--

2007-03-26T23:37:00.000+08:00
it's not a nice feeling to feel unneeded/inadequate/inferior/unimportant,and it sucks to have all these negative feelings in your face at the same time. i try to be optimistic about things and i try not to whine but it's becoming increasingly hard. i'm starting to wonder what the hell i'm doing in jc.

jaded--

2007-03-26T01:39:00.000+08:00
i feel...tired of things. its as if nth gives me joy anymore,not even the things i hold dear to my heart. i've learnt over the months that everything can be taken away from one in a blink of an eye. friends disappoint,once-exciting events become mundane. i need smth solid to cling to,and i know what ppl will tell me--God,right? but i cant even feel His presence anymore,and whenever i go to church i feel so... lethargic. inertia just washes over me,no matter how hard i try to push it away. that's what happened today,and shern was the only one who noticed. we talked for some time,and i appreciate her loads.some friendships are forever. others are ephemeral,though,and it kinda saddens me cos i for one value my friendships greatly,but....being human beings,we tend to let others down (albeit sometimes unconsciously). some ppl have inflicted hurt without being conscious of it;i only hope that i never become like that.
i really need to find something that i can be passionate about,that i can invest in,and which won't let me down. i thot that solid friendships,theatre,dance etc...could fill that void within me but i was wrong. to experience temporal joy is really nothing,cos it's fleeting.i know what i need, just please dun tell it to me.i know,it's so patently obvious,but......i dunno. after taking the MBIT personailty test i learnt that i'm a FEELER by nature, but right now i feel nothing.

2007-03-17T23:56:00.000+08:00
*firstandforemost i wanna thank shern,chu,claire,grace,dor,ed and jas for the encouraging tags (: i love u guys so much man

anw the hols have almost ended,and so concludes a veryawesome and wellspent oneweek(: i'm really pleased cos i managed to catch up on sleep and spend time with the family,which was nice. and since everyone's hot topic is currently what did u do during the holidays, i'm gg to sum it up here so that i can cease telling my grandmother story to everyone who asks.

mon: went to kes's house for jammin. (L-R: kes,tim,elizabeth,nic,darrell) i'm the one taking the picture(: i think we'll be playing for chapel some time soon

then some of the 1990 church ppl watched history boys. i thot it was not-bad,but apparently only me and hosea actually 'enjoyed' it; the rest didnt like it much. hmm i recommend this movie only if u're good at reading into innuendos;if not u're gonna end up clueless and waste your money.

tue: dance in the afternoon and ROMP at nite. was damn fun! (: pity we missed rich and dharsh's perf ;( but i'm still proud of u guys for comin in fourth tho!! the place was really packed;i couldnt really dance on the stage cos there were way too many ppl

the romp gang. we're rock i tell you,cos all of us went for romp and came home late,yet ALL of us went for dance the next morning(:

wed: dance again, then lunch with my darlin dancers babes+shawn. after lunch i went to DYE MY HAIR so now it's BACK TO BLACK.....hope everyone's satisfied :/

thu:day trip with the family to m'sia. was SO AWESOME i tell u,just chillin the whole day.

fri:went out with my grandma and nat. omg i had a dental appt too and i have to extract my lower left wisdom tooth in june.yikes,its gonna SWELL and its gonna be damn painful! :( i'm glad june is still a long way off.

hurr,it's school on monday. for once i'm not dreading it,cos i know it's gonna be a slack,slack week. at least for us... poor j2s tho. uh,
GOOD LUCK FOR TERMS,JAY-TWOS!!
take care everyone [else],and cheers ppl

---

2007-03-10T22:20:00.000+08:00
this week,i learnt alot. about myself;about my expectations for myself and my shortcomings.
-wed was emo day,lesley will know what i mean. i havent cried so hard for a long,long time..think i scared my dad when i started sniffling away in his car.
-thu,i managed to rectify the problem when i spoke to denise. [thanks les and rox for being there with me!] shan't elaborate here because i reckon i've alr reflected enough and i want closure.
-fri was campfire. shits,i reallyREALLY miss the first intake ppl!! :( was overjoyed that jen,kes,dewei,rich made it back(: ....but it really saddens me so much to see ppl like claire,bagus,hao,justin etc having to leave. SIGH. i'm really thankful for my place in ac cos i know that there are SO MANY ppl who want a place here but cant get one. what annoys me is that ac has such a lot of 2nd-intakers who dun even friggin want to be here,while there are so many others who are posted to cj/jj and want a place in ac so bad.such is the unfairness of life. :( damn, i wish that everyone cld just get posted to wherever they wanted to go so that we cld all be happy; but thats way too idealistic (and unfeasible).
orientation2 was (inevitably) not as fun as O1,but who cares... t'was a good respite from the mundane-ness of academics. oh,subj registration was on wed.i kept to my origina lcombi......funny isnt it,after all that deliberation. H2 lit,H2 econs,H2 DEP,H1 maths,H1 GP--no chinese(: everyone was questioning why i had decided to carry on with dep but i've decided that i don't owe anyone an explanation cos its my life and my future. plus, i dun intend to wallow in regret later on either.
yeah. today was the alpha youth thing. i wasnt extremely excited/enthu abt my sticky nose relay game but still had to do it anyway.ppl must think i'm a friggin retard or smth now.but it was sure heartening to see those new belivers give their testimonies and stuff tho. (: made it all worth it

i'll never forget.

2007-03-06T09:40:00.000+08:00

posting today---ac arts (: i have a feeling nth's gg to change after jae,at least for me. i'm still gg to register for the same subjects,take the same ccas. the only thing thats gg to change is the ppl arnd me. damn,i'm feeling so emo now. chris is gg to acs(i),cheryl is gg to aj/pj :( i'm happy for them,yet i know that i'll miss them like mad. thats the thing abt me,i realise: i grow emotionally attached to ppl way too quickly.it aint a very good thing. ytd i kinda alr knew that they wouldnt be coming back to ac, so i took as many pictures as i could,so that at least the memories of first 2 mths wld assume a tangible form. sigh. tml the 2nd intake ppl will be coming--new faces,new names to learn..........i guess having new ppl is a good thing. change is good.

or is it?

1AA1--the best,sexiest,most awesome class ever.

chris and cheryl,i'll never forget u

well at least i still have you two(:

mark!the sole boy,the excellent chairman. attempts to nerdify himself,and succeeds.

life in pictures

2007-03-04T18:38:00.000+08:00
family photo(: an annual affair on cny

my darling depper babes. and dillon

the sqealing girls of glory's dep piece

oooh la la the HAWT MANNEQUIN that donned asoka's robes for ceci's piece (:

pcg at nydc

march is a brand new month(:

2007-03-02T00:05:00.000+08:00
today i donned the ac uni for the first time(: it's rather nice,and i think the collar is damn sexyyyyy! ahwell, founders day was damn boring; nuff said.

anyway i cant believe its MARCH alr...and next week is second orientation(:
feb was one awesome month---busy but fun. towards the last week of feb i had to deal with my dep dilemma-- to drop or not to drop it [as a subject]? cos everyone,literally EVERYONE,was saying how time consuming it was and how it aint worth it blahblahblah.quite a few of the deppers are dropping it, and i was gg to do that too but i kept changing my mind cos u know,i'm such a fickle person and all......anyhow,my final verdict is no. i'll stick with dep. i came to ac for dep so i'll stick with it,even tho other ppl arent...if not,i might as well have gone to poly cos frankly,none of the other subjects interest me in the least, not even lit.everything's becoming TERRIBLY boring and mundane now and i'm alr tired of academics even b4 the actual work has begun. (hooray)

but ok, since i'm sticking with dep i know i'll have to sacrifice certain things,like my time and perhaps my sanity . maybe even my social life...but you noe what, i aint gonna let that happen! i will make sure that i go out of my way to spend time with all my friends and family,and i'll have excellent time management too. i'm feeling rather ambitious now. sounds abit mad to want to do all these things,and to do them well,but hey if tan lifeng can do it then so can i. God will see me thru all the shit i'll eventually have to go thru! i'm mentally prepared, so bring it on baby.

i'm lazy to blog more. will post pics nxt time

the week in retrospect

2007-02-19T00:12:00.000+08:00
top of the news: i'm so over the President. haha. mark u can have him lol :p

hmm vday @ ac was friggin cool.the atmosphere was damn awesome! guess its kinda a big thing at this school huh. anw,thanks to everyone who gave me stuff,i appreciate the flowers/chocs etc but most of all i appreciate you,the giver. you are loved by me! :)
anw. the night was...eventful. doubt you'll read this, but.........thanks for telling me what you told me tt evening at the void deck. i'm still thinking abt it.

fri was cny celebrations. haha i'm glad the dance was GOOD:) i had loads of fun,even tho i hated the costume.our skirts were damn short, and whenever we turned around the stupid skirts flew up.i heard that some guys in the audience were perving big time but whatver man. we were wearing TIGHTS for crying out loud! anw i love the dancers:) the feeling of camaraderie was so palpable...before, during and even after the dance.

loveyouu J1 high school dancers(:
and the J2 seniors--u guys are the best.
happy new year everyone.

keep going(;

2007-02-12T00:05:00.000+08:00
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change;courage to change the things i can;and the wisdom to know the difference.

i thought i was busy. but the J2s have it worse,much worse. poor things! i hate seeing them so tired and stressed,and i hate it even more when i see ppl breakdown:( :( and i dunno how to help 'em besides giving encouragement. seeing them like that is seriously making me think twice about continuing with dep.sure it's fun and all,but its so super omega time-consuming! gahhh.

oh i've decided not to do chinese anymore so i'm gg to submit my exemption letter tml(: to heck with the 'D' on my result slip. my folks are cool with it so i'm fine with it too. hooray

d-day in review

2007-02-11T00:41:00.000+08:00
ytd was a rather....interesting day.got my results--cant say i was overjoyed,but after the initial disappointment wore off i was ok. i'm cool with my grades now i guess. at least i can go back to ac(: the worst part of it though,was higherchinese. mygosh,dunno what happened to me i screwed it man. D7!! >.< there go my 2bonus pts. i was so scared that i wldnt be able to drop it in jc ok...but i just found out that i can thankGod. only thing is that the stupid 'D' is gonna be reflected on my 'a'level resultslip or some crap likethat. sigh. i dunno if i shld do chinese in ac...lots of ppl are telling me tt i shld do it,so that i can get a better grade and whatnot;others are like "nooo u shld totally drop it man!" DILEMMA. i always seem to be in dilemmas abt everything,walao.
bahh. sorry everyone for being so EMO ytd. it was wrong and disgusting to indulge my sadness/disappointment when all my other friends were so happy.
but anw it was gd being back in sc and seeing everyone. i'm so friggin proud of all those who did so exceedingly well,and esp those with commendable improvement like SHAAN STEF NAT DREA!!:) :)
gosh i was so thankful that i wasnt acting in NOL ytd.dun think i could've done it properly if i was....the results affected me that much. but i'm fine now,TOTALLY(:

results day!

2007-02-09T01:39:00.000+08:00
results in abt 11hrs,and i cant sleep. not cos of fear or anxiety or wtever,i just think my biological clock's screwing on me. i'm starting to feel SAPPED of all my energy during the day,and high and awake at nite. this aint cool AT ALL. all the late nights+dance practices+unhealthy food must be kicking in :( ohwell i'm not in the mood to care right now. SO HAPPY cos i'm gg back to sc tml! i seriously miss the toilets there man...never realised how clean sc toilets were till i left the sch:(

<-- the little green toilet sign! no other institution in the country has a sign that looks like that on their toilet doors ok(:
at least, thats what i think.whatever the case,it holds SPECIAL MEMORIES for me. haha

anw ytd was the annual cross country thing.i found out that i was a competitive runner on the morning itself ok. this guy conned me into signing up for it! but it was damn fun so i didnt mind haha.....3.5km!!i cant believe i ran so much and didnt die.and the sch spirit was awesome,everyone was cheering/encouraging one another(: i like that kinda thing(: when i asked around,i found out that most sec schools have this kinda cross country thingys.:/ gee man,i thot it was particular to ac but apparently everyone has it except scgs! :/

-alrite i'm gg to sleep now. my eyebags are gg to be the size of watermelons tomorrow.

after one week

2007-02-04T01:09:00.000+08:00
I'M DAMN HAPPY TODAY COS I WON A $200 DIOR HAMPER:) WHICH INCLUDED THE J'ADORE PERFUME WOOHOOHOO :):)
and the other dear jas was so sweet;she gave me a burberry [london] perfume sample...it's damn nice. i'm a SUCKER for perfume:)shld totally marry a perfume tycoon or smth right.haha.i want vera wang's princess! cos i smelt it on cas the other day and it's really nice.plus the bottle is cute. *HINT* anyone wanna sponosor?
today was supposed to be the dance thing @ ucc but it got CANCELLED cos the organiser screwed up.but ohwell. i love ac dance man...i love it. i dont intend to drop it,even tho everyone's telling me it's nuts to hold on to 2 heavy ccas.ms sng told my mum smth likethat during the parents' talk-thingy on fri,and that prompted my mum to have a Talk with me.but i've decided to stick with all 3 (meaning DEP,theatre and dance)cos i prayed abt it alr and yeah..i think i can handle it with God's help. liz is my inspiration cos she's in dep,theatre,dance,dance comm...plus she takes H3 chem and KI.:/ amazing woman! so anw,since there was no dance i went to la selle with some DEPers to check out the sch,cos it was their open hse today. its cool!so arty-farty,i like.i'm definitely gg to consider it after A's.

omg o's are comin out on fri,it's confirmed :/ i hope i did ok...

ohhh,btw i've relinquished all my eye candies,if anyone's interested to know. haha.zero eye candies now. someone find a new one for me pls

rahh.

2007-01-26T00:11:00.000+08:00
i love my class we rock(: 1AA1..i think we're the most united,most fun class in the cohort.this week so far has been well,eventful.ytd drama rehearsals were quite ____ for me but shan't bother to elaborate.it was really nice talking to cheryl and cecilia tho.
it's kinda hard juggling 2ccas,plus homework.and all my friendships too. today was the first time in a long while that i could actually sit down with my family for dinner cos on all the other nights this week i've been gg home late.i used to take this kindof thing for granted but now it's become something special if i'm home for dinner can u believe it.
on mon shern said smth that really got me thinking...smth abt how i must ensure that my priorities don't shift from God to drama/dance,cos i'm investing so much time and energy in the latter. it was a good wakeup call cos i'm really scared that this will happen to me.i really dun wanna become a no-life,no-faith loser. :/ so i'm determined not to neglect QT and stuff likethat. anyhow,ytd i realised that God is seriously the only thing that won't let me down. i've been hurt by ppl before,and i've been disappointed by drama/dance/etc before too.hence i think it's supid to place all my hope/energy/whatever else on these kindof things...cos then if i lose these,i'd lose my motivation for living.
yeahhh.
hm i said before that i'm inspired by ppl with passion and energy.there's this senior in west side who epitomizes that,and she motivates me to do better...even tho my best isnt good enough (apparently). but i came up with a new motto thingy for myself: if u wanna do smth,do ur best,if not don't bother doing it at all. preachy huh...but it helps to keep me in focus cos there's so many things to do. SO. from today i'll try to do my best for whatever i'm involved in................even if it's just posing on the platform of DBS arts centre and watching other ppl dancing below me. :/

i'll pose nicely.

ho hum

2007-01-16T23:15:00.000+08:00
it rocks having someone like LESLEY being in all the same things as me(:
for the record, lesley and i have been in:
-the same kindergarten
-the same pri sch
-the same sec sch
-the same pb
-the same class for 3 (awesome) years
and now,we're in
-the same JC
-taking almost exactly the same subj combi,including dep
-in the same 2 ccas(:
-in the same theatre production
woosh iloveya lesley!!

anyway,practices have started for west side story alr.super fun can.but tiring no doubt...last night i reached home at 9pm,and it's probably gonna be likethat for the next few mondays and wednesdays. and on wednesdays........me les ed rich cas dhash have to go for dance from 2-5:30pm,then run off for theatre prac after that(which happens to be more dancing btw). i hope i have enough stamina/energy to do that for four months.geeee.... but it's gonna be a hell lotta fun(: esp with nice ppl doing it with me.
i've decided to stay in ac. tml we'll noe our (PAE) classes,gasp.actually i alr noe my class,its some A1 thingy. 0.0 cos TERESAAA saw the list alr la.she was still in sch when it came out.i'm kinda excited,cos then at least i won't have to aimlessly drift from lecture to lecture and bum around during our insanely longggg breaks in btw lessons.

whatever.
WEST SIDE STORY,by ACSian Theatre
4 April~7 April 2007 @ DBS Arts Centre
the tix are kinda pricey cos the whole thing's gonna cost a bomb to produce.but it'll be worth it people,i promise(:

hey--

2007-01-09T23:25:00.000+08:00
backk.decided to update cos i found out that ppl actually read this.
new yr... welll its been a really iNterEstiNg week i guess. sunday was eventful cos of that crisis thing but dun worry shern bel chris yl i'm fine now.i'm gettin over it and i'm gg to be stronger becos of it.(:
acjc rocks can.
I LOVEEE ASHWINDER AND erif is HOT,burning hot!! loads of cool doods,like jan teresa eileen xin bagus lam etc. fun bunch... and ohman, orientation was a blast.yeah so i got peeling skin+a hoarse voice BUT was totally awesomee.i'm gg to stay in ac,definitely. tml is dance+drama auditions.>< i really wanna do both, hope thats possible.
*subj comb: H2 lit,H2 dep,H2 econs,H1 maths. i think it's the best comb ever and i hope it'll be manageable.
lazy to blog more. i'll update soon JESSICA(:

tired but happy.

2006-11-26T23:16:00.000+08:00
the week that just went by was hectic,but quite fulfilling.a hell lot of fun,thats for sure.

*acjc dep auditions: it's OVER!!(: thank God that me and lesley got in tgt man! i was so scared cos denise told me that the intake is like 30 only!!out of what,hundreds? :/ friggin small la. i love denise,she was the one who told me i got in and i remember screaming and jumping around cos i was so happy. seriously,i had a horrible feeling abt the audition..forgot my lines and all.but the trs were supersweet.well,at least one of them was.the other didnt smile at all.anw lesley and i made new friends,richenda and edlyn from chijkc and chijst respectively. they're really nice. we had to wait extremely long for our turn so i amused myself by people watching. i've concluded that dep ppl(and those who auditioned for dep) are super drama can.and quirky! there was this girl in a newsboy cap,long skirt and long sleeved top with her hair in 2 low ponytails. and while we waited she took out a knitting ball and started knitting. eccentric,no? hazel told me ytd that in ACSian theatre there's super alot of politics,more so than any other cca.righttt.i henceforth vow not to involve myself in them,as far as i am able. for a more detailed acct of the audition go to lesley's blog: greaseit.blogspot.com

*prom: not bad i guess. nth much to say abt it cos honestly i wasnt looking forward to it much.note to juniors: whatever u do,dont wear black to prom. black is like.......ubiquitous. seriously,so many ppl wore black.it made me feel extremely small and insignificant.that's the dress i wore.it's vintage by the way:

*post prom:now this was the bit i was looking forward to. thank u dear char for everything,i had a blast!we cabbed from regent to 4seasons---5 extremelytired girls in two cabs.but mm the room was great;i love the toilets man.we talked abt alot of stuff,cant remb the exact details cos my brain was woozy.i think we slept at 3plus?with wet hair. and hehhehehehehe sorry suyin zara that i took up so much space. but at least i dont KICK ok. the next day we ordered breakfast and i decided to be healthy and ordered oatmeal.which was a mistake,cos i was trying to enjoy eating my (healthy) oatmeal while the others gobbled their waffles n strawberries. and,the oatmeal wasnt even healthy anymore cos i doused it with chocolate/sugar/whatever else i cld find. after breakfast we watched friends and then we had lunch. CHOCOLATE FONDUE= bliss bliss bliss. i had a chocolate overdose that day;don't wanna go into details. next was shopping.then i went to shern's house for her surprise party. this is her highly adorable niece shanna who got me all excited:
i said it b4 and i'll say it again.the two things that turn my head are: 1)cute babies 2)hot guys
i had to leave early at around 11pm..so sorry shern! took 171 back to 4seasons.i love travelling on my own at night,when there's hardly anyone and i can revel in my solitude and spend time with God,and er..with my mp3. we watched step up @ 1:05am @ cine. its friggin good and channing is hothothot. pity he's bisexual.he'd make an awesome catch for some lucky girl. char/suyin/drea were SMITTEN. and no one was bothered by my constant proclamations that he's a bi. anw,by the end of the movie i was tired/hungry/cold.so back at the hotel i ordered mushroom soup,it was nice. (:
the next day we were supposed to wake up at 9:30 to swim/tan but whatever,we woke up at 11:50am and had to check out by 12. so we rushed.rush rush rush
i was so,so,so tired in the afternoon. all these late nights do not agree with my biological clock.at youthphoria someone told me i looked drunk.and i er,fell asleep during pastor bernard's prayer;that was the extent of my sheer fatigue. today in church i was super shagged too.and apparently i still look drunk.haha mayb ppl associate tiredness with drunkeness cos tired/drunk ppl both have bloodshot eyes,i suppose.
6 of us in the toilet

this is me and andrea(:

holidays are here (:

2006-11-20T18:04:00.000+08:00

i love having the freedom of choosing what i want to do and when i do it.
ytd was so fun!we went to cathay to watch casino royale. it's very good(: daniel craig is seriously not bad,even tho he's supposedly not as suave as previous bonds.the poor guy's been getting lotsa flak for being "too ugly/too short" but cut him some slack la! his acting is not bad. he's not suave like peirce brosnan but he's rugged and buff.and,his blue eyes are so nice,so intense. blue eyes are recessive genes,btw.which makes me extremely sad becos it means that even if i marry a caucasian,my kids still won't have blue eyes,tsk.
and we ate ben n jerry's,which needless to say totally negated my afte-o's-i-shall-lose-weight resolve,but heck.it was goodstuff! chunky monkey+strawberry cheesecake+fudge chocolate+good company= (: er.of course i didnt eat 3 scoops all by myself laa.we shared the ice cream..and also the cost,the calories,and the pleasure. sharing is good!
there are so many things i have to do this week.seems like post-o's is much busier than during o's...but the busy-ness is a nice kind of busy-ness,if u noe what i mean. and the acjc dep audition is on wed!prom is on thu! really hope the silly band won't bail on us,i'm praying for a miracle. :/

back in action

2006-11-18T10:40:00.000+08:00
back! after a more-than-a-month-long hiatus :) man it feels good to be blogging agn! my endorphins are seriously in overdrive right now...its so surreal,i cant believe that it's all over mygosh. this whole month has been really......woosh.it came so fast,and it's over so fast.four yrs of studying,cumulating to november2006. i'm just so thankful that God saw me thru this period,and took care of my health, and drew me me closer to my friends and all that. and drew me closer to him as well.it's funny that i experienced revival just the day b4 amaths and chem. but yeah i was reading rachel's tears again,and wallowing in the unpleasant fact that compared to racheljoy,my own spiritual life was so shallow and so stagnant. i dunno how it happened, but now i'm super charged up for God and the feeling's incredible. like zara said, when u're spiritually attune,everything else falls into place. yeah, so i guess thats the best thing i got out of the o's---a renewed faith in God. (:
anyway. i went to vivo straight after history ytd,like i said i wld! its awesome! detractors were telling me tt it was ultra boring..but its not,take my word for it. or maybe u shldnt cos i'm prone to biaseness HAHAHA.but i really think everyone,shopper or not,shld visit vivo at least once,just for the experience if nth else. i remember the first time i read abt vivo was from a magazine early in the yr,and i was so impressed by the artist's impression of it that i cldnt wait for it to be built. hehe. the only bummer is that candy empire is a let-down.it aint as big as i envisioned it to be. but ahwell. ok i'd like to emphasize that i do not live to shop hor. sure shopping's fun and all,but giveme coffee with a good friend over vivo city any day man. shopping isnt fulfilling,it's just fun. i want my life to be fulfilling satisfying and well-lived,and not merely fun.
which is why i thot that ytd was so awesome,cos i got to catch up with zara. (: and then we met pcg and i got to catch up with shern and chanel and the others too. but the best thing was doulos. doulos,fyi, is a ship that docks at diff ports at diff times of the yr.and they have a bookfair and a fulltime crew that lives onboard (volunteerily). and,they travel around africa and asia spreading the gospel. is that cool or what? we walked arnd and zara bot this oscar wilde book and then all of us sat at the rooftop amphi @ vivo and talked till 10plus with two of the crew members. ohman, that was the best way to spend the last day of exams. (:
reached home at 11:45. but for some unexplained reason i still had tons of energy so i ended up sleeping at 2.
later gg to lishan's hse for exco mtg. (: yay

~tribute to the meepok uncle: i'm really so sad he passed away.he's such an integral part of sc,and his meepok is almost synonymous with the school. i wasnt a big fan of meepok cos i hate noodles,but it gave me a sense of comfort to see him everyday at his little stall,smth that remained unchanged ever since i entered sc in pri1. he'd be there selling his meepok without fail. he was there even during my mum's time! i really want to go to his wake,but circumstances prevent me from doing so................ bleh nvm. my mum went two nites ago,she can represent me i suppose. there's a rumour floating around that straits times is gg to run an article abt him. but whatever it is,i'm really gg to miss him so much. sc wun be the same agn w/o him,w/o miss heng,w/o mrs phuah.
in the span of a yr,everything changed.

picturesss of the 29th of sep (:

2006-10-08T22:50:00.000+08:00
pcg (:

haha i like this pic alot

zaraa, i'm glad so u came (: (: woosh.
2 extremely important pple, the awesome dynamic duo who organised and executed the party (: you guys are seriously the best man. THE BEST

love you best tea (:
happy people

my babysis and me.man i havent done this since she was three!lolol

anyway. VIVO CITY OPENED YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (: (: i've been counting down since february,and now it's finally opened. man i'm so happy (:no prizes for guessing where i'll be on the last day of o levels

back

2006-10-05T23:27:00.000+08:00
to a friend

hey(: u're making me worry. i know i've told u this many times alr but thought i'd just reiterate it here...( yeahyeah i know i'm naggy but u're my friend,for crying out loud)

please please EAT. EAT!your body's a temple..there's no use starving yourself just to fit some stupid ideal of beauty. society's idea of beautiful is warped i tell u. i mean,how can a skeletal stick with twigs for legs be beautiful?look at nicole ritchie she looks gross now and she doesnt even have boobs anymore. i guess deep down everyone wants to be thin cos (apparently) thin is in, but there's a fine line btw being thin and being too thin..and the latter is definitely not smth ppl shld aspire to be. sorry for being blunt,but i really think it's SICK to be so waif-like :/
this is cliched but everyone's beautiful man. and beauty is in the eye of the beholder (: besides, dont u rem that body talk by dove we had? haha.and guys like girls with a bit of flesh cos er,there's more to hug i think.
so there's no need to shrink and become all emaciated,k? you're gorgeous just as u are.
cheers <3

=) =)

2006-10-01T01:54:00.000+08:00
THANK YOU SHERN & BEL SO MUCH FOR THE AWESOME PARTY YTD!!I LOVE YOU TWO SO MUCH!! was so surreal man,so super awesome. haha and the pig is damn cute too. (: thanku thanku for everything.,i appreciate it tons. (: u two rock.

oh! I CAN GO TO AC FOR FIRST 3 MONTHS=) i'm so happy that it's ridiculous. my results this yr havent really been fantastic, so i wasnt expecting 6pts or anything like that..just prayed real hard that i'd get just enough for ac...and thats exactly what i got: just enough. amazing!! u know i seriously think that God is damn cool.cos i know that i cldnt have done it on my own. i mean,i got 26pts for CA laa. still recovering from shock. a nice kinda shock,but shock nonethless.

i'll never doubt God again (:

later 1:45am
man they're playing that awesome SI song again(: i'm still sad that jon didnt win. gahhhhhh.hady's good too i guess. but i was set on JON ;( ;(

on beauty

2006-09-25T00:28:00.000+08:00

today there was this article by sumiko tan in the sunday times abt beauty..abt how it fades with age and how so many women resort to plastic surgery to maintain their looks. that article was stuck in my head the whole day man.sumiko tan is seriously one of my fave ST journalists and i've always liked reading her articles, but this one in particular was really thought-provoking,at least for me.
hmmm.i guess that when we're in the prime of our youth the thought of being old and wrinkled is probably the last thing on our minds yeah?haha (x i never really thot much abt it till today,cos it seems like some far off kinda thing..but today it occurred to me that all those ppl who bank on their looks to see them thru life shld seriously start finding other jobs,cos one cant be gorgeous forever! and by that i mean gorgeous on the outside..cos inner beauty is a whole different ball game.the sad but harsh truth is that beauty fades.like feste said,"youth's a stuff will not endure"..even the most gorgeous ppl now are gonna grow old sometime. so. we shld busy ourselves cultivating values like honesty and integrity,and developing our own individual multi-faceted intelligences,instead of constantly primping and preening in the mirror.....since these things arent gonna be affected by the ravages of time like physical beauty is. haha no wonder my mum keeps telling me to study hard and grow up to be a clever person...and she never tells me to be pretty!haha.when i kid around and tell her how i want to get a vacuous job next time which doesnt make use of the brain,she'll give me The Look.lol

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised" [proverbs 31:30]

yeahhh. man........ i will TRY not to place so much emphasis on looks anymore la.tho i think its gonna be hard for someone as vain as me. =/ but seriously,i think i shld start cultivating things of lasting value.!! butof course this doesnt mean that i'm gonna let myself become all ugly and gross la!now that is a disturbing thot.after all,life's abt striking a balance isnt it (:

one more paper

2006-09-19T15:17:00.000+08:00

yes!gonna end tml oh yes (:
not that its been great,i think both my sciences are screwed.but shant think abt that now..happy things:ytd i met audrey agn!!!!!!!imiss u dear.we go way back,since kindergarten huh (: thanks yuliang for calling her to come mug with us i had alotta fun.it was nice studying with the fairsians they're a crazy bunch hahaha.
anw two things i learnt abt exams during this two weeks of torture:
#1.they make ppl fat. take me for example.i've been mugging somuch and i havent exercised for donkeys years,so when i weighed myself last week it nearly gave me a heart attack. and so the next day i went running.
#2.exams bond ppl tgt. i think its really comforting to noe that sec4s nationwide are muggin their asses off for prelims too,haha. and its fun to study with ppl,esp those from church. man.i heart u guysloads and loads (:

nyeh k i'll blog more another time. i think i shld do maths now......havent touched the stuff since 12

back!

2006-09-03T21:59:00.000+08:00

i havent blogged for donkey years!! haha.but life's been good,more or less(: have alot to blog abt but feelin lazy now. this holiday i intend to be extremely hardworking cos er, its one week to prelims and i've only covered one chapt of bio and a few pages of chem and one chapt of hist and one act of twelfth nite and 3chapters of tet. which sounds like alot but it really isnt. gahhh.
anw, i've decided that i want to go to ac next yr. (: becos 1.its near my house 2.alot of myfrens are gg there,esp those from church 3.they have drama elec 4.their uniform is nice 5.its a methodist sch
of course i've heard alotta not so nice stuf abt that sch too la,but i'll trust wad steffi/jesse/huey hien/hazel/karl have told me abt it. mmm. acjc acjc acjc
i'm working my butt off now just so tt i can get into that sch. cos unlike my smart,ambitious frens i wun be aiming for 6pts.haha. i think if i can get 17 or lower for prelims it shld be fine?cos they'll moderate,and then 4pts from hcl and cca. lol..hopefully (: mmmm i'll be happy with anything i get as long as i noe that i did my best la. so just gonna study and leave it to God.
but then agn feodor's dad is e vp so mayb i can go appeal to him if i cant get into ac thru mygrades. HAHAHA =)

nah.

i can do it! can.

the power of friendship.

2006-08-08T23:56:00.000+08:00

i love my friends,super super super alot.
ytd was kindof screwed up and i was feeling very disgusted with it the whole.really didnt want to go for bio remedial cos i was feeling braindead and all.....till shan2 and les came to the rescue! haha. they made me laugh so much with their crazy antics and infectious laughter that i felt quite happy agn. then during bio i realised i didnt noe how to answer nearly all the questions in the wkst and that prelims were nearing and i knew next to nth abt the circulatory system and it didnt help that everyone else knew how to do the questions and even when mr jo explained it i didnt get it.it made my spirits plummet down to below zero,again.(its pms i tell you!) yeah.i cabbed home cos i couldnt drag my loser self to the busstop.slept awhile at home,then...drea called and we had a nice long talk abt.. SOMETHING EXCEEDINGLY INTERESTING.ahahaha (: and she made me laugh so much too!lol i think its hilarious how i can keep so wide awake when i'm talking to my friends and yet fall asleep once a teacher starts teaching in class. speaking of which,was quite irritated with misstan today for constantly picking on me during ss.its not my fault if i cant keep awake! ss/hist is so friggin boring.i try my best to stay awake but argh,the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.*groan* shucks man,i dun even noe why i was so jaded ytd. mayb its the sleep debt working its evilmagic agn. ohwell. but i talked to bel on the phone after talking to andrea and it was a mood lifter as well. she's hilariously cute! (: lol.i learnt one thing today,and that is: my friends are of paramount importance to my mental health and general state of happiness. so thank you God for friends. (:

and today i had lunch with lishan and jean(: was really fun talking to them. it hit me that next yr i wldnt see them very much anymore cos we're going to diff schools,and that realisation made me extremely sad. its going to make me treasure the last few mths in sc even more.
in the afternn met shern(: and bel(: to study at holland. ohmy, the starbucks strawberriesncream thing is FANTASTIC. so is the big o cheesecake from nydc. but the company was better. and i bumped into ying2!was nice seeing her agn after so long.and she's so sweet she just msged me to ask how i was doing. (:
hehe. today was nice cos i got to spend it with 4 ppl who mean ALOT to me. guess that makes all the difference between a crapped up day and a blissful one eh.
cheers everyone,study hard for prelims!

fragile

2006-08-01T23:26:00.000+08:00

life is fragile;i realised that today. uncle tian lye just passed away after battling cancer for goodness knows how long. it kinda shocked me cos just ytd dad was telling me that his days were numbered,but it didnt really impact me that much then. kinda sad,cos he was such a nice man...but at least now the pain is gone and he's with Jesus in heaven.
yeah. life is brief,we cld be gone anytime. gee.

(:

2006-07-27T19:21:00.000+08:00

forgot to blog abt the cool talk we had ytd during ce. was by this ex-sc girl, she's a harvard grad;she's been to nepal,africa and has worked in a prison too.and so i was talking abt it with shong,and i realised that both of us wanna be just like that woman. ahahaa (: as in,both of us hope to go to places like nepal and tibet to help the ppl there if ever we get the chance. sounds idealistic but it's smth i'd really like to do b4 i die,so that at least i can go to heaven with the knowledge that i made a difference.
when i tell ppl my plans they look at me and say "you can meh?surviving without your phone, your shopping malls,your AIRCON???" :/ wellll. someone once told me that i come across as the type of person who cant live without her manicures and lattes, but seriously,i think if i had to give up all that for a greater cause, i would.
~c'mon ppl,there are more impt things in this world than GSS!!~
aha. just heard pink's song stupid girls on the radio. and yesyesyes,i dun wanna be a stupid girl.(:
dun wanna just live for the here and now, and waste my life on stupid things.

i want to be somebody who makes a difference

today is e-learning day.

2006-07-27T10:40:00.000+08:00

i'm starting to feel a strong dislike for e-learning.
trying to be psyched abt the prospect of working from home but apparently it aint working very well.
gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

stuff to think abt.

2006-07-23T20:23:00.000+08:00

i cant believe we won talentime! haha its so surreal. but i guess all the practices during recess/after sch/at joan's house were not in vain huh. (: ohhh.mrs wang asked me to sing a solo for family nite! i super super want to do it la, but its like 3 days before prelims start so i dunno. its a dilemma i've been pondering abt since thu. gahh.i think i'm really too fickle,hve to learn to be more decisive. o.o
anw. on fri nite i was supposed to do prep for el oral the next day but i ended up reading thisbook called kite runner by Khaled Hosseini. u noe, the bk that sgp's promoting as part of the read singapore campaign or smth like that. anw, its absolutely fantastic. it made me cry so hard.dunno even noe why.... but it was just so moving and it evoked so much emotion in me. i highly recommend this bk.like one of the critics said,"it makes everything else i read seem bland". hurr(: it's set in afghanistan and its basically abt frenship,war,violence,love etc.super riveting,super evocative..go read it. and now with all the hoo-ha abt lsrael and lLebanon and whathaveyou... i guess by reading kite runner i'm getting a deeper understanding abt the middle east and stufflikethat.before, stuff happening in the middle east was totally foreign to me and i didnt really care much abt it cos it didnt affect me so i always thot what the heck, i have better things to think abt than how many bombs went off in israel, that kinda thing.but now...i'm just so saddened by whats happening. it really got me thinking.
u noe, i grew up listening to spicegirls,michael jackson and all that. children in those worn-torn countries grow up hearing gunshots and bombs almost on a daily basis.they're so innocent and yet they have to go thru all this shit because their ldrs have warped minds. its totally unfair. and this realisation has left me really humbled. imagine if i had been born in say,afghanistan, instead of sgp.my life wld have been so different. sometimes i really think that we take the peace and security in sgp for granted.
like on fri, we celebrated racial harmony day in sch, and when we recited that declaration on religious harmony thing... i thot abt all this too. i think its something that God wants to impress on my mind. ohwell.dun wish to sound sanctimonious or anything...but from today onwards i'm gonna be praying for the ppl in the middle east on top of the stuff i usually pray for everyday. all are welcome to join me.

YOUTHphoria (:

2006-07-17T23:51:00.000+08:00

youth sunday rocked. everything abt it made me just feel so blessed and so thankful to be in amc and to be a YOUTH in such a great church. the vibrance, the friendship.... man. (: thank u God!! i think i'll let e pictures speak for themselves. as they say, a picture says a thousand words. ..and just look at all these happy people

after lunch went with yuliang n bel to tiong to study. they were helping me to sing in a more chinese-y way for talentime cos apparently i sound too angmoh-fied. gahh talentime is today! i am nervous,so very nervous. joan and i have NEVER sung to the minus one versh of the song, the first time we'll be doing tt is during the actual performance. haha. ohwell. at her hse we watched some jaychou mtvs and i must declare: i LOVE jaychou!!! dunno how i survived all these yrs without knowing how fabulous he is. after 'o's i'm gg to borrow joans initialD dvd and watch him act over and over until i'm satisfied. mm. after tt went back to tiong to study. dunno why bel and yuliang noe so much abt acids and bases la. they were trying to explain to me and i was like 'huh?'. sob, i shld noe all this.

lacklustre

2006-07-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

man.i'm so glad its gonna be the weekend. sch is driving me nuts. choir,mrs phuah's farewell,chi talentime is seriously eating up my time, doesnt help tt everyone arnd me seems to have alr buckled down and started mugging for prelims.
i havent started yet. on anything.
woke up this morning feeling extremely shibai and worried cos i remembered that the chem mock on the sec3/4 syllabus is only a few days away. two years worth of content and i havent even TOUCHED the stupidnotes.
prayed, felt better after that but ohhhhhh, the feeling is still nagging me:( sigh.
think theres smth wrong with me.i'm becoming so absentminded and forgetful that its not funny. today i lost the letter that sarah wrote to me :( [i'm so so sorry sarahhh] and i lost the letter that mum wrote for mrsyogee.
well. tml is the dance concert,sat is youth sun prac and sunday is YOUTH SUNDAY (:
makes me feel better thinking of those things, but there's this nagging guilt thats eating me up inside, like hey woman u shld be studying not involving urself in all this.
and i keep hearing my mum going "when is this all going to stop???!!"

:( if only i knew.

just some random thoughts.

2006-07-09T23:54:00.000+08:00

dramafest rocked! feel so sad that its over, but i guess its good in a way cos i really need the time to start mugging. i'm very very happy. best publicity board. best supporting actor. best supporting actress. 1st runner up. all of us---the whole class---have a reason to be proud man. (:
lit symp: not too bad. lunch was kinda screwed thanks to a certain somebody, but i thot other than tt it was ok. i really like lit, think i'll continue doing it next yr.
next yr......i wanna go to acjc. they have drama elective!!! and its so near my hse/church. of course, if i was smart enuf i'd want to go to hc, but ohwell. must be realistic i guess.

in a few hrs is world cup finals!! i aint a big soccer fan, but must say its quite exciting hehe. (: hope italy wins!! not intending to stay up for the whole match tho. just told some ppl to call me at the start of the last half hr so i can hear e results first hand(: woohoo.

prom

2006-07-03T00:25:00.000+08:00

23rd nov @ the regent hotel ~felicite~
its gonna be fun! (:
i'm i/c of entertainment, tgt with with cam and jean. so if anyone knows of any gd bands who wanna play for us lemme noe pls (: heh.
and if u need financial assistance, come tell me too. u noe where to find me! dun have to feel paiseh k.

i really cannot wait for 'o's to be over.
sigh. prom hurry hurry come!!

sch :(

2006-06-26T21:27:00.000+08:00

first day of school. i fell asleep twice
i cant believe it. last 4 mths in sc. 9 weeks to prelims. 1 week 4 days to dramafest!!!!! 6 months have gone by SO FAST,its freaky
but the holidays were simply fantastic. (: i really, really wish it had been longer.
at the start of the hols i promised myself to complete my homework by week1 and study for weeks 2,3,and 4. obviously that didnt happen.
BUT, i wouldnt exchange wad i did during june for anything in the world. i spent time with ppl i care for and i got to noe alot of ppl better. i guess i can make up for lost study time by working my butt off from now till nov haha. but frenships/relationships will always take precedence over studies. at least for me.
on fri met gra for lunch, it was really really nice. not just the food, but the company too(: she's gg to meet all her diff frens for meals to catch up with them... haha isnt that cool! one of the things on my to-do list for after 'o's is just that (:
pb gathering on fri nite: fun (:, even tho not many ppl came. i love scpb!
on thu went for sonicfest worship, it was good. yes, another thing i'm glad for is my RESTORED relationship with God. (: its funny how my life went from screwed to blissful in a span of 2 mths. my, having God as centre of ur life really works wonders, i tell u.
oh well.

i hope to be a blessing in sc(: thats my prayer for the week.
have a great wk everyone.

J24

2006-06-20T21:17:00.000+08:00

i just went to tiffy's blog and decided to follow her great idea of advertising for J24 (:
ok listen up everyone:
free movie,free dinner
@ ACTS lifestyle, China Square Central, 5-8pm on 24-june-2006 (this sat)
meeting pt: Chinatown MRT control station,4:30pm
movie synopsis: inspired by the life of glenn lim, an ex-drug abuser who had since turned his wayward past around. Labelled as a defiant child and menace to society, he turns into a troublemaker at school and home,just to get the attention he needs.
In rebellion, he quits school and leaves home in pursuit of a hedonistic lifestyle. Glenn forms a band and seeks solace in the world of rock music, alcohol, drugs and decadence.
Drugs began to gain a greater foothold in his life. One fateful day, Glenn is caught with drugs in his luggage at the Immigration checkpoint. His world falls apart......

SC babes, its the greengrass movie tt we watched during assembly one day. haha but we didnt finsh watching so come come come on sat to watch the whole thing (:
contact me for details

i love

2006-06-18T02:35:00.000+08:00

channing tatum

:):)

churchcamp06*

2006-06-15T23:47:00.000+08:00

it was so good. seriously, i did experience revival and i thank everyone who's been praying for me. :) right now i'm having real bad withdrawal symptoms man. ...i'd give anything to go back there. even tho the resort wasnt the most fantastic place in the world, the company made all the difference.
i love everybody.
esp my dear roomies and our next door neighbours!
feel so happy that we cld bond with one another. old friendships rekindled, new ones formed...truly the essence of fellowship eh. :) as i reflected, i thot abt how diff all of us are but how well we click with each other.

shern..bff:) was so fun just bein arnd u, esp when we did worship tgt. i heart u so much dear! thats u being spastic :)
bel: YOU ARE ONE CRAZY CHICKEN MAN.haha i didnt noe u were so mad! but u're super adorable and i really cherish our talk on the last nite... u noe,b4 i became incoherent with sleepiness. loveu anna
tan: hotbimboo! we'll come up with a rountine for B-A-N-A-N-A-S k? loveu. we have such similar tastes, its freaky:)
tham:i like talking to u. :) always seems to be u that i'll be talking to on the last nite. hehe rem at meta when we talked for the whole nite? that rocked:) anw i'll b praying for u k. <3
unc: your voice is so.nice. and minyi's too, i'm jealous. eh,thanks so much for trying to get us to noe e sec4guys better, even tho it didnt really work out tt well haha. appreciate wad u were doing man:) rock on yL

i think i'll cont the shoutouts another day. wld like to cont but it's late so ANOTHER DAY! i promise.
mm we took ever so many zany pix:
L-R: *me and my strong hottie :)
*me with bel-the-crazy-one and sistas huang
*1990 babes
there's moreee but too lazy to upload. ymers, feel free to ask me for pix of u k?:) i took alot so ur face shld be in at least one of them.
cya

yo

2006-06-14T23:49:00.000+08:00

hello everyone. this is my new blog :):):):)